[Tango-L] introducing the cabeceo (card)

[Balazs Gyenis]

  Thanks, Tine. I agree with everything you said.

> Handing somebody such an explanation card sounds like handing somebody
> a mint. It probably means something.
  Indeed, and that is the point.

> people are aware of it, example will make it spread. But only a subset
> of the population will ever adopt it, and here is why.
>
> In the US, the cabeceo is in the interest *only* of dancers who want
> to decline invitations. The cabeceo is counterproductive for those
> less desirable dancers who would see their acceptance rate go down if
  Agreed, I (we) made the exact same point in the first email.

> The cabeceo is also counterproductive for people who are not familiar
> with it, because they miss out; however this is easily remedied by
> public information and word of mouth. It is different for the above
  Agreed, and that's why signalling visibly that a cabeceo system is
in place, at least for some followers, is important.

> Obviously this strategy is dead in the water in the US where a public
  Just to clarify: indeed, the strategy is dead in the water *as a
strategy to make milongas cabebeo-only*. I have not argued for that
being a desirable or reasonable goal. As I wrote from the beginning
I'm interested in achieving a *cabeceo-for-some* outcome (in a
previously cabeceo-free environment), where a group of most sought out
followers can decline invitations without singled out as being weird
(which could easily happen if they tried to act alone) *and* with the
least amount of stress for all parties. If these followers have an
easy way of avoiding unwanted dances, I'd call that a success, I don't
think any of them would mind if the guy got his dances with others who
do not adopt the cabeceo policy. The custom then could grow further
from there on to the rest of the community, or not.

> verbal refusal is considered a minor setback, and the culture counsels
> renewed determination in the face of adversity. No problem: ask the
> lady in the next chair, and the next one after that! In Argentina the
> guys are really worried about having to slink off empty-handed after
> being unceremoniously rejected for all to see. So in Argentina, verbal
> asking is the strategy with the penalty potential of public
> humiliation. Here, it's the cabeceo, and the penalty is a decline in
> dances.
  Very nice characterization of differences. Point taken.

> A final consideration is that the cabeceo may have the unintended
> effect of excluding visiting strangers. In New York we get lots of
> visiting strangers, ppl on business and such. If you are cabeceo'd by
> a person you've never seen before and who has been sitting alone at a
> table for a while, will you accept? As a milonga host, when I have
> time I try to measure these people up and introduce them to a suitable
> person from among my more helpful regulars. If you visit my milonga
> (Tango Lounge Fridays in NYC), before you hit the bar, come introduce
> yourself to me.
  I haven't thought of this. (The card-idea included giving a first
free chance to everyone, so a visitor leader merely extending hands
would get his dances for the first time at least. The problem of a
cabeceoist visiting a cabeceo-free milonga is another problem.)
  Thanks,

       Gy.B.

-- 
Balazs Gyenis
Department of History and Philosophy of Science, University of Pittsburgh
1017 Cathedral of Learning, Pittsburgh, PA 15260, USA
http://www.pitt.edu/~gyepi