[Tango-L] Fwd: introducing the cabeceo (card)

[Balazs Gyenis]

> It doesn't take years of experience or a certain reputation to suggest a man wait until the music starts before accepting a tanda.  It's usually just that the man hasn't thought about it.  He's accustomed to either yes or no, not maybe.  If he gets the same "let's hear the music first" from women, regardless of their skill level, he'll figure it out.  Typically, the man's initial reaction is "perhaps she doesn't like the music", so he doesn't realize that it might be him and he won't feel so bad if she turns him down.  White lies have their place.

  I'm not going to push this further, but we are still talking past
each other. Even if every single leader waited until the music starts
and only then walked to followers to stick out their hands it would be
still stressful for the followers to refuse their approach. White lies
are also stressful. The cabeceo alleviates this latter problem, not
the former, although I did try to tackle both at the same time.

> Millongas are SOCIAL occasions.  People need to bring their social skills to it, not just rules.  Are we so numbed by the internet and Facebook and Twitter that we have forgotten the art of conversation?  Of socializing?  Of delivering lines to acheive a certain effect?

  True. But certain social environments are more conducive for people
to bring their social skills to fruition and others are less. The
difference many times is in extremely minute details. ((Why did Orkut
fail where Facebook succeeded? Minute details.)) And I'm trying to get
an understanding of these details. People were right in pointing out
that the custom didn't stick in the US, and it is in retreat in BsAs;
maybe the need is not there anymore, but if it is, then the reason
might lie in the non-conduciveness of the environment, and maybe even
small changes can be effective.
  Thanks!

      Gy.B.

-- 
Balazs Gyenis
Department of History and Philosophy of Science, University of Pittsburgh
1017 Cathedral of Learning, Pittsburgh, PA 15260, USA
http://www.pitt.edu/~gyepi