[Tango-L] Following

[WILL MORROW]

I begin by stating that I am new to Argentine Tango(3+ yrs). My first instructor made the statement that a follower must bring something to the dance and not expect to be pushed and pulled around the floor like a puppet. After that class, I tried to be more aware of what he was trying to convey. One evening in an open discussion, a woman made the comment that the men (leaders) had it so hard and she had it so easy because she "just had to follow what was led." I took issue and a one-sided discussion ensued whereby she went on to expound on the finer points of all things that made leading so hard (even after she confirmed that she had never led or even tried to lead) - the implication being that I must not be aware of all of that if I didn't think like she did. Since that first experience, I do not let that type of comment go by without stating my dissenting opinion, and, without fail, the response has been the same one-sided banter and with the same, non-sensical rationalizations. (The only times I ever hear women not only talk about how hard multi-tasking can be, but in defense of men???) (Also, I have yet to be asked the rationale behind my dissenting opinion).

Do followers who buy into this stereotypical concept not recognize it as an artificial performance standard based on (most of the time, their own) sub-standard expectation? Just as importantly, do instructors who buy into and teach it not recognize this idea of a subservient, inferior perspective for what it is? 

Just a thought. I'd be interested to read how the subscribers here see the role of the follower.