[Tango-L] Tango-L/ Social-ethical behaviors and protocols.

[HBBOOGIE1@aol.com]

Nicetune
You start off by saying this was  your ex girlfriend and you end by saying 
you broke up with her two days after  the improper behavior? 
If she was you’re ex when it happened why would you  care?
If she was you’re girlfriend when it happened why did it take you two  days 
to break up with her?

I have read that in BsAs to dance two tandas  with the same man in one 
night is acceptable any more than that and people will  suspect something is 
going on, and it usually is.
In the US there are no  codes to follow so it seems like some women are 
willing to dance all night with  the same man. This could be out of 
desperation, ignorance, or disrespect take  your pick.



In a message dated 8/13/2010 8:29:42 A.M. Pacific  Daylight Time, 
nicetune at live.com writes:

Tango-L/
Social-ethical  behaviors and protocols.


“Are there any traditional unspoken
rules  at Buenos Aires’ Milongas [or elsewhere] regarding how accompanied 
women  …”  
(Proper conduct ignored. Cultural differences?)



A  very touchy and timely tread, indeed! 



What I am about to relate  could be relevant to
cultural differences and ignorance of proper dancing  codes at the 
milonga. Or, perhaps, a personal experience irrelevant to the  milonga. You 
be
the judge.



Recently, I went  to a milonga with my ex-girlfriend, (an experienced 
milonguera) in this city  in mid Florida.  We both knew most of the other
dancers and they
were  familiar with us and our relationship except for few (3 or 4)  new
guests.  That night, I got to dance only one tanda with her as she  
danced
again and again with a newcomer (unknown to me), enthusiastically  
talking while
waiting during the cortinas.  She showed an evident  flirtatious attitude
(accommodating her hair with both arms up, and other  well known 
seductive
gestures and postures).  She walked several  times to where the gentleman
was sitting and invited him to dance. In  addition, he danced almost 
exclusively
with her.  I was astonished  by her behavior and began steaming up. 



She got offended later on  after the dance, when I tried to discuss
her behavior at the milonga.   She categorically denied my observations,
refused to discuss the issue  arguing that she did not know what I was 
talking
about and that "I'm an  insecure man." Then, she sabotaged our
relationship by being angry, refusing  any reasonable dialog, arguing that
she had to “lick her wounds.” We broke up  two days later.



Although all this may be irrelevant to the tread,  what is interesting to 
point
out, is the fact that I was judged to be an  angry, judgmental, jealous, and
controlling man by few of her close friends  who, considered that she had 
done
nothing wrong.  


On the  other hand, some other dancers, shared my opinion; according to 
them she
had  exhibited tactless, inconsiderate, and even improper behavior, placing
me in  a humiliating position; all of this aggravated by her subsequent
inability to  have a rational discussion, adopting a defensive, haughty, and
resentful  stance.



Nicetune                       
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