[Tango-L] social/ethical behaviors

[Sergio Vandekier]

Sandhill Crane says:
 
              "From a North American perspective, even if a woman arriveswith a man, she can still decide for herself who she wantsto dance with." "To assume that a woman who arrives with a manis off-limits to everyone else, is similar to assuming thatshe is his property, something very out of date, from aNorth American perspective, as I was saying.
 
Sandhill Crane, to clarify this point so that there is not doubt whatsoever about it, from an Argentine perspective, a woman is not the property of any man and there is not any anachronism in our customs.
 
It is very simple : The lady arrives to the milonga alone or in company of other ladies and then she dances with whom she wishes.
 
When she arrives to the milonga with a man, this means that "SHE WISHES" to dance only with him, otherwise she would come alone or aat the very least would seat alone.
 
Now that we know that foreign women wish to dance with other men despite of the fact that they come with company, we respect their culture and ask them to dance, no problem whatsoever.  But we would not offend the members of an Argentine couple by asking her to dance when she came or sits with a male companion.
 
Certain misunderstandings may occur from time to time:
 
It happened to me some time ago, that I arrived to a new milonga, saw a lady sitting by herself and stared at her to invite her to  dance. I should have waited for a period to know the dynamics of that milonga.
 
She motioned for me to come to her table and she said " My male friend just went to the restroom, I cannot dance with you today but I will be glad to dance with you any day I come alone".
 
Summary: Customs are different in different cultures. There is a reason for everything. You may think that somebody's codes are old fashioned other may think that you behave in an immoral, improper or unethical way.
 
Best regards, Sergio