[Tango-L] Ghandi and the cabaceo

[Tom Stermitz]

Valerie,

What you say may be true for you and your community, but there are  
other places in the US where it works fine. Therefore, you can't  
generalize across North America. You also can't claim it is a cultural  
issue (ever been to a singles bar?) And, culturally, in North America  
it is normal and common for people to nod to say hello.

Also, the cabaceo works best with someone you already know or you like  
to dance with. Women are always looking around for their favorite  
partners; if that is you, then the dance is just a nod away. Thus, if  
you see your favorite partner being chatted up by some guy who you  
KNOW doesn't dance well, you can rescue her by giving her that nod,  
and she'll excuse herself with the (true) excuse that she has the next  
dance promised.

The cabaceo allows both men and women to reserve the next dance with  
someone they want.

Speaking for my community:

In Denver, most of the milongas and the big practice have seating for  
almost the whole crowd. The DJs universally play tandas with cortinas,  
even at the practices. The floors USUALLY clear, except for a few  
partner hogs who are insecure that if they sat down they'd lose the  
partner they want.

It's kind of embarrassing to see them standing alone in the middle of  
the room with everybody staring at them.


On Nov 24, 2009, at 12:16 PM, Valerie Dark wrote:

> On Mon, Nov 23, 2009 at 10:11 PM, Anton Stanley  
> <anton at alidas.com.au> wrote:
>> The cabeceo gives ultimate power to the woman to refuse a dance  
>> without
>> publicly injuring the ego or dignity of the suitor. Why is it such a
>> problem for Western women to practice it? >
>
> The whole cabaceo discussion is academic, at least in North America.
> Are you in Australia, Anton? Do people use the cabaceo where you are?
>
> In North America, there are a few people who try to do it, but it
> isn't practiced uniformly. It is't that Western women have a
> particular hard time doing it. It's simply hard for anyone to do it
> unless everyone does it.
> ...
> Even if you do want to cabaceo between partners, it's hard to do here.
> For one thing, people don't clear the floors for cortinas. That means
> partners can't find one another by sight from a distance. Where I am,
> there is no reserved seating in milongas and never enough chairs for
> everyone in attendance. We just don't conceive of a milonga like the
> ...
> It's a cultural difference that can't be bridged here. It would
> require a country to decide, spontaneously, to be different!
>
> Valerie

Tom Stermitz
http://www.tango.org
Denver, CO 80207