[Tango-L] Chicho interview - "Violent Milonguero" vs. "nice close embrace": what to do?

[Laura V]

Jack Dylan wrote:

> Maybe ladies need to be prepared to accept a few 'not-so-good' tandas so that they
> can get a few 'good' tandas. But that's everyone's choice to make. 

True...but the way I understood Joanne's comments is that there is a 
difference between a "bad" dancer and an inexperienced one. I'm quite 
happy to dance with a few inexperienced dancers to balance getting the 
chance to dance with some experienced ones. But a bad dancer is one who 
is forcefully pulling and pushing you out of balance, bumping you into 
the other dancers (perhaps without apologizing) and otherwise making the 
dance very unpleasant; these are the ones who seem oblivious to the idea 
of taking further lessons to improve because they think they are good 
enough. Imagine the message they might get when they notice the woman 
choosing a beginner dancer over them.

I do think there are discreet ways of making suggestions to men who are 
truly trying to improve. Usually this is best done not during the tanda 
you are dancing, but in a neutral conversation another time where you 
might point out positive traits in leading that you like - in a general 
way, not like you are correcting them. Often bad dancing occurs when the 
leader is trying to do too many fancy steps that he is not capable of. I 
love to point out good dancers who use very simple steps but have great 
musicality...the inexperienced dancer is often surprised because they 
can't "see" what's so great about that dancer. But I have also been 
known to make gentle comments on the dance floor - I've sometimes used 
"Excuse me, but I'm having a problem in my shoulder, would you mind 
using very little pressure in your left arm"...or can you guys see right 
through that one? ;)

Laura