[Tango-L] Invitation and refusal

[Gary]

John said:
>
> It's not a question of blacklisting, but of taking no for an answer.
> If a woman didn't want to dance with me 10 minutes ago, or last week,
> or in November 1962, I assume she doesn't want to dance with me now.

I suppose I have less absolute  settings.  There are some women where  
I'm pretty sure they don't like dancing with me at all. I might try  
again in a year or two, I might not.

But most of the time, they do not say yes for any of a number of  
reasons - like I listed before:

>  The music, the floor, my mood, phase of the moon, how
> she dances; how her dancing is affected by the music, the floor, my
> mood, the phase of the moon...

It would be silly for me to interpret her past "no" as a current one.

The reason I reacted so strongly to the original suggestion was  
because it sounded like bullying - "don't say no to anyone or we'll  
boycott you".  And I know that it has that effect on some women. Then  
they say yes to a dance when they mean no, which is bad for everyone.

And if I never asked again, with every woman who had ever said no to  
me, there would very little dancing happening. Including with many  
women who I know want to dance me.

November 1962 was a long time ago. Maybe her feet aren't so sore now,  
or the music has got better, or your dancing.  Give it a shot.

Gary