[Tango-L] Refusing a dance... <was Re: Is it Balls, or just a Heel?>

[Ilene Marder]

yes Jack, thanks...but I didn't give the first guy I turned down a 
reason, nor do I think it is necessary. I just smiled and said "not 
right now thanks". That should be enough... I donlt think anyone has to 
explain why they don't want to dance with a particular person at that 
moment. The best thing is for the guy to be gracious and ask another 
time/night. If she still doesn't want to dance, well then, she's 
probably telling you something and it's up to you whether you want to  
ask again. 

Cabaceo of course solves all of this and even in small communities it 
can work very well.
I.

and PS I myself have turned down dances with people when I was on the 
way out...only to find myself still there an hour later, talking with 
friends who just arrived maybe even dancing- ...so I don't think people 
should take this so personally! 


>>Robin,
>>
>>I did say ... "without a good reason" and Ilene gave a perfect answer ...
>>
>>"I just tell the dancer I want to dance with ( but cannot because I just 
>>turned someone down), that indeed I have just turned somone down 
>>and that I hoped he would ask me the next tanda. I kind of whispered 
>>it to him and he completely understood and did ask me again that night."
>>
>>Men are not stupid. A simple expalnation is all that is required. We know 
>>[or should know] when a lady is turning us down because she just doesn't 
>>want to dance with us. So, why ask again?
>>
>>One girl told me she 'just leaving'. 20 minutes later she was still there, 
>>happily dancing with other guys. What am I supposed to think?
>>
>>Jack
>>
>>
>>      
>>
>>
>>_______________________________________________
>>Tango-L mailing list
>>Tango-L at mit.edu
>>http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
>>
>>    
>>