[Tango-L] Report from Buenos Aires #5

[Jessica Douglas]

Michael,

You've posted a lot of interesting observations here, and I've read  
them for a while without comment, but I thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.
I am an American (originally Canadian) here in Buenos Aires with my  
boyfriend for 3 months.  We've been here a little over 2 months now.   
We are from San Francisco.  I've been dancing about 2.5 years.  This  
is my second time in Buenos Aires.  My Spanish was almost nonexistent  
when we got here, but we've had a private tutor and now I can hold  
halting stumbling conversations with people if they speak slowly.

Let's see if I can do this in a non-confrontational manner :)

1. Michael's going to milongas within walking distance of his house  
because (I believe) he doesn't want to deal with cabs/busses etc late  
at night.  Michael, if you have even 4 words of Spanish, take a cab to  
another Milonga!
I have had all sorts of scare nonsense told to me mostly by locals who  
seem downright petrified of the cabs in this town...about kidnapping,  
rape, theft etc....  but I have taken cabs every day for the last 2  
months, as well as last year.  I am a small woman and I take cabs  
alone and with my boyfriend (who has less Spanish than me)  The worst  
thing that has happened to either myself or my partner is that we have  
been passed off a counterfeit 10 pesos and that was last year.
I have had so many enjoyable cab rides, cabbies like to talk to me  
about English, about Buenos Aires, about the US, about the state of  
women drivers, about their favorite tango songs... they have been  
almost 100% polite and friendly, though most can't speak English and  
have some pretty funny ideas about our language and our culture.

The cabs are *plentiful*.  More than New York.  The only place we have  
had to phone for a cab is from Sunderland, but even there, last week  
we walked 2 blocks to a busier street and there were cabs there.   
Everywhere in this city at every time of night (3, 4, 5 am) there are  
tons of cabs, and they wait outside most of the popular milongas for  
patrons leaving.
Get out and explore!
Saying you're only going to milongas in walking distance does not, I  
think, give you the ability to really see the variety, nor to  
generalize your experiences.  It's like going to the restaurants only  
in the mission district in San francisco and assuming that 90% of all  
restaurants in SF are mexican.

Oh: One tip: Cab Drivers only pick up people on the right side of the  
road.  They can have their red "libre" light on but pass you by if  
you're on the left side.  I don't know why, but you'll look like a  
tourist if you try to hail one on the left.  Also, for added security,  
take "Radio cabs" (most are).  They are licenced and very safe.

(yes, we have also tried the subway etc, it just takes longer, is hot,  
sweaty and I'm a lot more likely to have my purse stolen or pick up a  
cold from the person jammed up against me in the subway car than in  
the back of the cab).

2. "The Argentines have behavior codes. One of them is not to dance  
with somebody else´s life partner. Men don´t use cabeceo with a woman  
sitting at a table with another man"
I have to argue with this from personal experience. While I don't  
doubt for a second that this has been true in the past and still is in  
many places, also the issue about taking pictures due to wives and  
lovers I'm sure is sometimes the case.  But over the last 2 months I  
have gone from mostly getting dances from tourists to now mostly  
getting dances from local Argentine men.  And though this weekend at  
Sunderland a couple of them did ask me if that was my boyfriend or  
husband (boyfriend) and then comment that he is a lucky man and how  
nice it is that he is not jealous... this did not stop them from  
cabaceo'ing me while it was just me and him at the table.
True, its easier to get a cabaceo from a local man if we have a woman  
friend or another couple at the table.  But I do still get dances, and  
they are definitely local.

It just doesn't make sense that "Argentine men won't dance with  
somebody else's life partner" here.  What if the man is someone's life  
partner?  This is often the case, these are not just roving bands of  
unmarried inveterate milonguero bachelors, though they do exist.  Many  
are married themselves, and I have seen their wives dancing with other  
men too.  Also I can't believe that marrying here commits one, as a  
woman, to a lifetime confined to dancing tango with only your husband  
forever.  That just doesn't seem likely, and I have seen contrary  
evidence at every milonga.

3. I have to disagree that Argentines assume you are Argentinean  
unless told otherwise.  I think that no matter how we try, most likely  
people can tell we are not local, even before we open our mouth.   
Clearly the first word indicates an accent and non-local.  However the  
best compliment I had was from a cabbie who thought I was Italian!  My  
accent must not be that horrific :)  Face it, we look like tourists by  
a thousand little habits, other than speaking English.

4. Tenedor Libre buffet? OK, I could go on forever about the food (I  
am a foodie, and spoiled by the diversity of San Francisco and I have  
overall found the food very disappointing here) BUT to go to a buffet  
here and not try the thousands of restaurants seems downright  
criminal!  Michael, grab a cab out to Palermo Hollywood.  Look up some  
recommendations, I'd be glad to provide some.  Get a good steak and  
drink a bottle of wine with your dinner!  Explore the culinary  
options.  They aren't vast, but some do taste mighty good.  One good  
foodie ex-pat living here has a blog: http://www.saltshaker.net/   
which has great recommendations.  Also, this site has good  
recommendations for options:http://argentinastravel.com/activities/restaurants/ 
   And this is the local "zagat" type thing that has been very very  
handy indeed: http://guiaoleo.com.ar/

5. Finally, please forgive me if this is way off the mark, but reading  
your posts I get a sense of urgency and intensity that seems so very  
very American (I mean this neither as a compliment nor an insult, just  
a cultural observation).  I have found that the easiest way to be  
pegged as a tourist here is to be in a hurry, ever, for anything.   
Cooks here get an order in an empty kitchen and take their time before  
filling it.  Line waiting in banks and grocery stores is the national  
pasttime.  You will never be brought your bill without asking for it  
in a restaurant.  Even notoriously urgent cabbies (when driving) will  
not hurry you out of the cab.  People here are relaxed about the  
time.  Children stay up til 1 or 2 am with their families, hanging out  
on the stoop.  If they're tired they'll sleep... so many things here  
are done the opposite way from the American intense, focused, hurried  
way we are often used to.
My recommendation?  Try to relax and let Argentina into your soul at  
its own pace.  You and I will not understand an entire culture in a  
week or a month, so stop trying.  Observe and report, yes, but  
whatever you think now, you will probably later hold a different  
impression once you have more data... so just relax, have a glass of  
wine, and listen to the music.

May your travels here continue to be enjoyable, and the dancing divine.
Jessica.




On Apr 20, 2009, at 12:21 PM, Trini y Sean (PATangoS) wrote:

>
> It seems to me that Michael's report confirms what a lot of people  
> have been saying - that the dancing, specifically navigation, has  
> grown worse in BsAs over the past few years.  Michael reported about  
> a specific milonga.  It could have been, as some have suggested, a  
> particularly bad night.  He hasn't said anything problems with the  
> other milongas.  I've also spoken with someone living there who  
> recently come back to the US for a visit.  One problem he noted was  
> that the women were less discriminating now than what they used to  
> be.  He doesn't go dancing anymore, and apparently, neither do some  
> of the other, better dancers.
>
> Given that quite a few people on this list have also acknowledge the  
> recent problems in BsAs, I think attacking Michael for his dance  
> skills was unnecessary.
>
> Trini de Pittsburgh
>
>
>
>
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