[Tango-L] To Dance -- or Not to Dance: That is the Question

[Michael]

Based on a lot of messages on this topic, about only dancing with good dancers and should a lead be refused, I've combined my answer into one message.

1) I understand what Ilene wrote. I remember meeting a woman at a practica. She was very stiff, tight and difficult to lead because her muscles were frozen from men who lead with their arms, pulling and pushing her off her balance. I told her to relax and she danced much better. We used to dance a lot. Then she went back to the men who caused her to dance poorly because of their tight frame. She absorbed her tension like a sponge absorbs water. After a while her dancing deteriorated and I stopped dancing with her.

Everybody has to answer for themselves if dancing bad tango is better than no tango. There is no universal right answer. Everybody makes the decision for themselves.

2) Refusing a lead
There are a few reasons a woman refuses a lead. When I danced in NY Sept 20 at Sandra Cameron, there were a few women I couldn't lead because they were pushing so hard outward on my left hand, they threw themselves off our alignment. All I can is drop her arm downward and keep it down no matter how hard she pushes. The other type is part of a dialogue. Virginia Kelly taught a great class at the NY Tango Festival (the one in the summer NOT the one coming up) called Interleading. The woman stopped the man dead in his tracks so she could do a figure. As long as I was relaxed and understood what was going on, I didn't freak out. Tango is a dialogue. When the woman talks, the man has to listen.


Michael
Resumed Spanish class for my trip to BA next year
I'd rather be dancing Argentine Tango
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Ilene Marder" <imhmedia at yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] Lead an invitation that can be ignored or faught


I once asked a very good, very well known dancer  why he didn't dance with 
me anymore. he said... basically..." look at who you are dancing with...some of them 
are not very good and they don't make you look very good.  If I dance 
with you next, it makes me look bad..."  


Jack Dylan wrote:

It seems that Sean will not only not dance with women who are not good dancers but with women who agree 
to dance with men who are not good dancers.