[Tango-L] Labor Day Festival: a complaint

[NANCY]

I'm not going to mince words here.  There is something happening at festivals and maybe at milongas that is not pretty.  Too many women are being way too aggressive in asking, no! in demanding dances from leaders.  Even from leaders they do not know.  The men are complaining.  They are trying to hide.  They have turned down these women who have the nerve to return with hostility and ask again. These women are grabbing men on the dance floor before they have even disengaged from their current partners.  They are lying in wait at the entrance to the ballroom to snag guys before they even enter the venue.

I understand.  We have come a long way and spent a lot of money to attend these events.  But......what happened to 'waiting your turn'?  What entitles YOU to dance more than I?  The guys are great.  They try to dance with old friends they have danced with over the years.  They try to get around to everyone they know and then also ask the women who might otherwise sit. But I had four different men tell me the women in Albuquerque were being 'mean' and demanding and pushy.  One even described being hurt so badly by a woman who tried stuff he had not led and she was not capable of executing so that he was disabled for the rest of the event - much to the chagrin of his wife.  And I was not the only one who heard these complaints.  

So....if you didn't hear the complaints, were you part of the problem?

Maybe in your communities it is OK to ask the men to dance.  Maybe some men like it.  But I am old school.  I like to know that a guy asks me to dance to a specific musician, for a specific type of dance.  I do a lot of sitting.  But on Sunday, I was asked to dance by five of the best dancers at the festival.  Certainly worth waiting for. Maybe next time the men won't be so polite or maybe they will decide not to come to a place where they have little say in choosing their dance partners.  I hope not.

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"

The festival was fantastic.  Tom, as usual, had everything well organized and the locals, led by Paul, provided us with a great hotel, excellent food, a good sound system and perfect weather.  The semi-outdoor event was in an impressive space with some good Southwestern comida. And the country around Albuquerque and Santa Fe is some of the most beautiful you will ever see - especially Bandelier Nat'l Monument. 

Nancy
A veteran of this festival and several others