[Tango-L] Milonga Codes and weird anecdotes

[Brick Robbins]

From: Melina Sedo & Detlef Engel <tango at tangodesalon.de>
Subject: [Tango-L] Milonga Codes and weird anecdotes

First off Melina, vielen Dank an Sie und Detlef for the wonderful
workshops you gave in Portland. I learned much from you.

>>I find it so very important to make everybody understand, that you
need to respect the codes of polite behaviour, when you're in a
Milonga. It's not even about Tango-Codigos, it's just basic
instinct. ;-)
<snip>
Unfortunately all of this happened a lot to me during our recent tour
to the US, even in the "very traditional" Milongas:<<

While I agree with you in part, I think you may have missed one
important aspect of this.

The LOCAL codes of polite behaviour.

And "basic instict" in social settings isn't really instinct, it is
learned behaviour, so what is acceptable in Germany may not be
acceptable in America, probably won't be acceptable in the Middle
East, and might not be acceptable in BsAs

Many try to abide by the codigos from BsAs in local US milongas
(especially the better and more traveled Tangeuros) and that may work
well in some places, but not so well in others.

Argentine Tango in the USA does not exist in a vacuum.

It exists within the context of American culture, and more
specifically American Dance Culture. American Dance Culture teaches
that if someone attending a dance, they want to dance, so it is OK to
ask them. It teaches that it is acceptable for women to ask men. And
it teaches that it is rude to refuse a dance, after all "it is only 3
minutes."

Americans may be unpopular around the world, though less so this week
than last, but there is nothing wrong with Americans (or anyone else)
acting like Americans while in America.

Your story about the rude Argentine is not surprising. I don't know
his history, but he may have simply been following the advice  "When
in Rome, do as the Romans do," and he never would have acted that way
in BsAs.

I most always use the Cabeceo, especially at a festival or visiting a
community new to me, but sometimes even following the Codigos in the
USA can be perceived as being rude.

For example: I was recently chastised by a woman for not asking her to
dance.  I explained to her that she was most always intensely watching
the dance floor, so I could never catch her eye to ask yer. She told
me that in that case, I should have walked up to her, tapped her on
the shoulder to get her attention, and then asked her to dance!

Brick Robbins
San Diego, CA
http://www.sandiegotangofestival.com/