[Tango-L] Milonga Codes and weird anecdotes/blowing my nose

[Lois Donnay]

I'm not saying this to anyone personally, but I think it's good to remember that even if 
you have been dancing for 3 years, 4 years, 8 years or even 20 years, that does not mean 
that you have improved, or even retained your skills. Even if you are a teacher. I'm sure 
everyone on this list has unfortunately seen this - a former favorite partner, or a dancer 
you looked up to, just doesn't have it anymore. Maybe they took some time off for personal 
reasons, maybe they decided they were so good they no longer needed lessons, maybe their 
ego has gotten to them, maybe they only dance with one or two people who always correct 
their problems, maybe the ratio in their town means that people always compliment them, 
because no one wants to sit all evening, maybe they've gotten ahead of themselves and are 
doing complicated moves too advanced for their skills - there's a long list!

I always remember, if some of your partners are praising you, it does not mean you are a 
good dancer. The punishment for honesty can be swift and lasting, and no one wants to be 
labeled a bitch. In Buenos Aires, women are brutally honest. Here, I have been "boycotted" 
for years because I told the truth. (Ironically, whenever I have done this, it has boosted 
the will of that man to get better - "I'll fix her! I'm going to get really good, and then 
never dancing with her again!!" See how I sacrifice for my community??)

Tango needs constant vigilance to stay good. One of my students asked "When do I graduate?" 
You don't. I try to find someone who will be honest with me. Then, most important, I buck 
up and listen.

I'll be in BA Saturday - email me if you are there also!

Loisa Donnay
Minneapolis, MN