[Tango-L] Milonga Codes and weird anecdotes

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

There are many ways of accepting a dance gracefully, but there are not as many ways to decline a dance gracefully that save both parties from potential embarassment.  That's the point of the cabaceo.  

If there's someone I'd like to dance with but the music isn't right for us, I don't want to tell him "Your DiSarli sucks".  I'll avoid him until a more appropriate music comes on.

Sometimes it might not be a person's dancing.  One time at a milonga, Sean and I had a little argument that left me not wanting to dance at all.   Do you think I wanted to explain that to the guys who asked me later to dance?  It was much easier for me to just avoid eye contact.

Going up to someone and asking for a dance can be fine.  Good friends of mine (people I've invited to my house socially) ask all the time, as do I with them.  That's fine because we feel comfortable being honest with each other if neither of us want to dance at a particular time.  We don't need to make excuses with each other.

For everyone else, it's the cabaceo that helps us avoid making up excuses and embarrassing anyone.

Trini de Pittsburgh



--- On Tue, 11/11/08, Vince Bagusauskas <vytis at hotmail.com> wrote:

> While I try to use the Codigos and often get this bemused
> look from women
> who don't understand it, I think from my observations,
> people, either
> male/leader or female/follower, in Australia are more
> direct and go up to
> the person and ask for a dance.