[Tango-L] I am blowing my nose

[Sergio Vandekier]

I find ridiculous that a woman has to use excuses of any kind to refuse to dance with a particular man at a particular moment.
 
Let me see if you can understand it once and for ever: For a tango to be a "tango" at a milonga it has to be wished by both partners.
 
 
The woman has to desire to dance with me and I must desire to dance with her.  I cannot, I should not force her to have to dance with me because the result of that will be a frustrating "no tango", an aberration, a disappointment.
 
So when I am getting ready to dance, my main concern is to find a woman that really wishes to dance with me. 
 
I does not matter where I am, women have an unequivocal way of letting me know whether they are anxious to dance with me or that they do not care to do it.
 
So sit or walk around and observe women's reactions to your presence ; if they look at you, smile, come to talk, pass in front of you several times, those are certain signs that she wants you to ask her to dance.
 
If you look at her and she looks away, or avoids eye contact, or when you walk by, she looks the other way, if you talk to her and she has a serious, indifferent attitude, this means that she does not wish to dance with you. My advice is walk away and do not bother her again.
 
Summary: The milonga has its codes that must be respected. I do not find humorous that a woman is forced to use clumsy excuses to avoid dancing with me. I would not want that dance for anything in the world anyways.
 
The same applies to ladies, you should not force any man to dance with you.
 
Practicas and lessons have different codes.
 
May you dance only with those that you wish to dance with.  Going to a milonga is not a charity ball, it is a place where you go to have fun.  
 
If nobody wishes to dance with you that may mean several things with respect to your dancing skills or physical appearance.
 
You may still enjoy attending the milonga to listen to the music,have a drink, dinner, socialize, etc. or perhaps you should go and take line dance lessons. In line dancing you dance by yourself in the company of others.
 
 
May you dance with those that you are interested in dancing with.
 
Sergio
 
 
 
 
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