[Tango-L] "Would you like to lead or follow?"

[Martin Waxman]

At 01:54 AM 7/19/2008, Mario wrote:
>Tonight, I asked a woman to dance. She replied, "Would you like to 
>lead or follow?"
>   I was startled. I answered "Do I look like a follow?..Hello-o-o. 
> I had lapsed into Valley girl
>   speak when what I should have done was my impersonation of 
> Christopher Walken.
>   So, Ok, I got it together and did my best Chris "Wow, this is 
> confusing!..I dance tango in order to feel like a man...and what do 
> I get?...unisex?
>    What's this.. no more man, woman? Is that it? ...she replied 
> again, "No, I just wanted to
>   know if you wanted to lead or follow?"  I could have milked the 
> scene, it was rich material
>   so, I did a couple more lines in my best Christopher Walken voice 
> (whenever I feel vulnerable, I go to Chris) and then we danced.
>    It's the man who approaches the woman. It takes a bit of nerve 
> to feel like you can
>   pull it off with her...it's not easy.  There should be some 
> respect..I don't get any respect.

A perfectly reasonable question by the woman.
What are you afraid of?
A man who never learns to follow never learns the difference between 
good leading and bad leading.

There is no rule in Argentine Tango that the man has to be the leader?

You will not get any respect because you THINK you are a leader.
In my opinion, you will get great respect when you learn to lead 
WELL, and can also follow.

There are women in our Tango community who prefer to lead.
I have been asked by them if I would like to follow, and I have accepted.
It's still Argentine Tango.

Marty 





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