[Tango-L] Milonga 101: There's a woman waiting to dance the tanda with me, but she's not the one I invited

[Janis Kenyon]

This is a common situation for men in the milongas of Buenos Aires.  They're
seated on one side of the room, and the women are on the other side.  A man
invites a woman with a nod or tilt of his head, and she accepts.  There are
other women looking in his direction at the same time.  As he's walking
across the floor, he sees another woman has entered the floor and approaches
him to dance.

What does a gentleman do in this situation?  He dances with the woman who is
in front of him on the floor.  The one he invited is seated.  She waits
patiently while he dances with the other woman because she knows he will
invite her for the next tanda.  This avoids an awkward situation for both
women.

The men who don't consider the woman in this situation will explain that
they invited someone else.  She then has to return to her table and deal
with the situation.

I have been in this situation many times when man who invited me was
intercepted by a very eager dancer who thought the invitation was for her.
It's not worth saying or doing anything about the situation.

Women can avoid this situation by remaining seated until the man reaches her
side of the floor and makes eye contact with her.  Afterall, we want to
dance with a man who wants to dance with us.


Janis
www.ToTango.net/milongueros.html