[Tango-L] Social Tango

[Joe Grohens]

Hi Trini -

> Personally, I find it much easier to find a connection with someone  
> if I know beforehand what style they dance or what they prefer.  
> Otherwise, we can waste a good bit of the tanda trying to find a  
> comfortable zone.
Could you elaborate on how this foreknowledge of the man's style helps  
you to find a connection? What goes through your mind?

> As for those who feel they need to ask or comment first, I'd just  
> chalk it up to their not knowing yet that they are supposed to watch  
> the dancers before asking/accepting a dance.

Speaking only for myself, I dance differently with different women. I  
find that the embrace is absolutely unique with each partner I dance  
with. I don't know what the embrace will be -- I explore the  
possibilities on the first dance. I explore them further with each  
successive dance, and I make micro adjustments until I feel that we  
both like it. Sometimes I find out that I want to try to influence her  
to go beyond what she seems accustomed to (reading this in her body).  
Sometimes I find out that I need to conform myself to her in a way  
that is unfamiliar to me, but seems good. It's never the same, even  
with people I have danced often with.

When I see that a woman dances a certain way with one man, it does not  
mean that that's the only way she can dance, or that that is how she  
will dance with me.

In any case, seeing a person dance and taking a reading of their  
"style" is more of an intuitive thing, no?
If I just look at someone and say "oh - she dances milonguero", it's  
fitting her into my concept of what milonguero is. It's letting an  
ideal abstract category impose itself on a unique reality.

Interacting with a dog, I suppose you could bring some knowledge to  
bear about how their breeds behave. Alsatian? Oh, that's an attack  
dog, and I had better be on my guard. Beagle? Oh, that dog is going to  
be veyr into smell. Maybe that information is helpful, maybe it just  
blocks observing that individual dog, which might have a lot of  
interesting personality traits that I miss because I'm too busy trying  
to identify the traits of his "breed".

It's sort of like astrology. You say you are a Libra? (I _knew_ it.)  
Oh, that means you are going to be indecisive. Yeah, I can see it in  
the way you dance. All right, I know how to work with Libras. I'll  
just be very decisive and she'll be able to dance well. This would be  
a total mental fabrication. But some people think this way.

It's the same with tango "styles". They have about as much validity as  
astrological types. Of course, if you convince people that they belong  
to a certain type they'll probably start fulfilling your expectations  
of them.