[Tango-L] Speak up if you are uncomfortable - policies

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

Hi folks,

Now that I have more time, I'd thought I'd share my policy
for dealing with this sensitive issue.  Perhaps it will
help others who need to deal with people exhibiting
undesirable behavior.

The bottom line for me is this:
- Does someone's repeated actions create an unhealthy
learning environment for beginners?
- Does it show disrespect for beginners or my invited
guests?

If the answer to these questions is "yes", then that person
is simply not allowed to come to any of our events.  Before
being barred, I approach the person about his/her behavior.
 If the person recognizes his/her error and corrects it,
then he/she is still welcome.  If not, then he/she is not
welcome.  Most of the time, such a person avoids our
events, anyway, so I've only had to bar 2 people.  With all
of the work I and scores of others here do to attract and
make beginners feel welcome, I don't feel at all obligated
to make someone with an oversized ego feel welcome at our
events.  

I also specify beginners because this is a special group. 
These are people who are still learning what our community
group is like and what the social norms are.  With
experienced dancers, I expect them to be able to set their
own boundaries.  Beginners, though, need time to figure out
what their boundaries are.

I don't announce these actions, but gossip gets around.  So
how does the community handle it?  They usually fall into 3
groups:
- those who are okay with the action,
- those who are indifferent,
- those who disagree with the action.
Generally, people know me well enough to realize that
there's always a good reason for anything I do.  They also
know that I have my community's best interests at heart. 
As far as the latter goes, they are always third-parties
that have nothing to do with the incident.  If they bring
up issues, my response is simply that the problem doesn't
involve them.  If they decide to involve themselves with
another person's problem, that is their own personal issue
to deal with and not mine.  The focus always goes back to
the teaching environment.

The long-term results after such incidents have been very
good, both in terms of social norms and teaching.  While
there were short-term problems, the long-term effects have
been quite positive.

Where I think some community leaders fail is in simply,
well, leading their communities.  I think many people fall
into it by default, which is what happened with me.  But if
one is to continue to be a community leader, then one must
be willing to make decisions, take responsibility, and
lead.  And not be wishy-washy.  By this time, you either
have the trust of your community or you don't.

For managing crises, the textbook case is the Tylenol
scare.  As this article points out, what guided the company
was its mission statement written 40 years earlier.  If
community leaders decide on their mission statement and
support it, then I think most crises can be handled fairly
easily.
http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/Fall02/Susi/tylenol.htm

Trini de Pittsburgh










PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society
  Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh’s most popular social dance!
  http://patangos.home.comcast.net/
   



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