[Tango-L] Surplus Tanguera - Not

[Alexis Cousein]

Chris, UK wrote:
>> why do these problems NOT occur in the milongas of BsAs and, IMHO, the
>> answer is obvious. The codes of the milonga prevent it. 
> 
> This is a misunderstanding. The codes of BA milongas prevent nothing. They 
> are simply a description of prevalent behaviour.

Precisely. The codes are a *result* of what people deem acceptable behaviour,
not their source. An etiquette is *a* set of codes that allow people to
know how to behave (i.e. to avoid embarassment, ambiguity and loss of face),
but they can only work if everybody shares the underlying ethos and social customs.

> 
>> cabaceo should be encouraged even if everybody knows everybody else.

The problem with cabeceo is that it doesn't work unless *everyone* at a
milonga uses it. Of course, you can build a group that refuses to
acknowledge social rules that would be deemed normal outside of BsAs
tango (i.e. followers who'll refuse a dance to someone asking for it
explicitly), but that's very, very, very sectarian - and it creates
yet another hurdle for newcomers and encourages clique building.

Let's face it: the cabeceo simply arose as a device to prevent the
leader from losing face when a follower refuses a dance.

I personally don't live in BsAs and my ego isn't shot down in flames if
someone simply tells me "no" (or even when she uses an excuse like
"I'm too tired" or "my feet hurt"), so I don't live in a social
context in which cabeceo invitations are *necessary*.

I do "cabeceo" at times (certainly with followers who know me) but I'm not
going to consider it dogma.

> Uh oh. Next it'll be milonga etiquette instructional placemats again...

Fix the problems (leaders behaving rudely and hogging good followers) and
the etiquette's actual implementation becomes irrelevant; it will tend to
grow naturally in a form that is matched to established local social
customs.

-- 
Alexis Cousein                                  al at sgi.com
Senior Systems Engineer/Solutions Architect     SGI/Silicon Graphics
--
<If I have seen further, it is by standing on reference manuals>