[Tango-L] Nina critique of Milonga invite, cabaceo revisited

[steve pastor]

How about when you don't want to follow, but want to lead?
  reference my post in the "Who's leading" thread
   
  

Nina Pesochinsky <nina at earthnet.net> wrote:
  Astrid,

And when do you want to dance, but "not as a woman" (since this is 
what the discussion is about)?

Nina



At 04:14 AM 9/21/2007, Astrid wrote:

>Frankly, I fail to understand where the problem is. In my experience, most
>invitations to dance are extended silently anyway, whether it be cabeceo,
>approaching my table with a smile and a nod when I notice him coming, an
>outstretched hand or whatever. I will accept
>-if I know the man from tango and like him
>-if I know him as a reasonably good dancer
>-if he is attractive
>-if he looks like a talented beginner
>
>I will not accept
>-if I know the man and dislike him
>-if I have danced with him before or watched him with other women and know
> -that he is a bad dancer
>-that his hold is uncomfortable
>-that he has no sense of rhythm and they are playing a milonga or some other
>really enchating music
>-that he is on the prowl rather than there to dance and everyone has been
>turning him down
>-or if he is dressed/groomed in a way showing disrespect to the tango
>
>In all these cases, it does not really make any difference WHAT the man says
>to me.
>Girls, watch the guys dance before you accept an invitation. Who wants to
>buy a cat in the sack and then end up with an unpleasant, unnecessary
>experience, and have to patiently hang in there for at least 3 minutes
>unless you want to make a spectacle of yourself?
>When a man walks up to my table, I have usually seen him already. And Nina,
>I agree that women may love with their ears, but in a milonga it is the eyes
>and the body- unless they fall in love with the music.
>Facit: an invitation to dance (and it's acceptance) is not an act of
>cerebral cleverness and glib or romantic seduction. It is usually the result
>of a chain of preceding events. .
>
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