[Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners

Fri Oct 12 16:21:16 EDT 2007

I like these ideas.  

I like the reference to Dressage horses and riders, as I rode for 30 years before discovering dancing in Feb. of 2000, then tango in August of 2000.  I know exactly what you mean.

Carry on!

Joanne Pogros

Cleveland, Ohio

-----Original Message-----
From: meaning of life <kushi_bushi at hotmail.com>
To: shepherd at arborlaw.com; tango-l at mit.edu
Sent: Thu, 11 Oct 2007 6:07 pm
Subject: Re: [Tango-L] How to break couples who do not want to change partners

ad to think about this a bit. it is interesting how everyone see's what's 
right" so differently.

irst, i love the let the "non switchers" dance in a corner idea. it's their 
hoice to "not switch", so that is a great solution. sometimes we would be happy 
n a closet, "leave us alone, let us dance" i think its also a great idea to 
ake sure that they get back in line for the "long" dances. so they learn floor 
raft. and i say that as an often non-switcher.

 will essentially conceed the point that switching makes you a "better dancer", 
nd if being fred or ginger is your goal, then the answer is SWITCH. but what if 
ou just want "quality time"? and don't really care to dance with anyone else? 
ow is a class affected by non-switchers? they are their own "problem", if they 
on't progress, that's "their problem", "you can lead a horse to water..., and 
ll that". besides, they do not in anyway affect the Leader Follower balance, 
hey are a "wash", and add bodies and energy to a class.

 have always considered "wifeing up" (not switching) to be a black or white 
hing. you either "wife up" and dance with NO ONE ELSE or you switch, and "take 
hat comes". in other kinds classes that i teach, i would NEVER accept anyone 
howing disrespect to any member of the class, i would consider that 
disrespectful" to the system, and i would take that VERY SERIOUSLY. if there is 
 real issue with an individual, then the instructor needs to "do something" 
and i know how sensitive, tense and gut wrenching this can be). if i could pick 
nd choose in class, i would have what my wife calls a "harem", the followers i 
ike to dance with, and only dance with them. in my mind, that is not how it 
orks. wife up, or dance the line.

ur instructors have been very patient with us. we have come to an unwritten set 
f terms. first in basic classes, i always dance with everyone, i love the smile 
n a new followers face when they "get it", and strive to make sure that 
veryone has "the best experience that they can". if there are non-switchers, i 
ill try really hard to work with them so they at least will dance with an 
nstructor (or senior student) once in a while. (all of this is absolutely part 
f the "pay forward" and "back" debt of a student to their system). in advanced 
lasses, the instructors let us "wife up" if "we need to", although, if they 
hink that i am missing something, they will split us up while someone 2X4's me. 
 go for that, as long as i "know" i can wife back up when i am "adjusted". i 
ill do what ever the instructor says, but, they respect that sometimes we are 
onna "wife up", and they usually leave us alone then.

t dances and in classes, i try really hard to make sure that every follower who 
ants to dance, dances. again, part of the "pay forward", "pay back" part of the 
eal. or that my wife dances with the "lost looking" leaders, same "best 
xperience rule applies".

ort of off thread, i have been amazed that so many people only want to only 
dance with other people", doesnt anyone else like to dance with their spouse 
or regular partner) and get this dance "dialed in" together. i love dancing 
ith my wife. we are like a world class dressage horse and rider team, i think 
t, she does it. when i think stupid stuff, she fixes it. we crack each other 
p, and save each others disasters, if she starts to fall i hold her up, if i 
et off balance she props me up. our moments dancing and learning together are 
golden moments". while we are figuring stuff out at practicas and at home, we 
re really "one", and in this together. how much better does the "emotion and 
ttitude of tango" get? remember everyone has different reasons for dancing 
ango.

ance on
he TangonistaSponsered by P.E.T.A. (People Expressing Tango Attitude)NOTICE - 
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