[Tango-L] buenos aires milongas

[Deby Novitz]

I am not sure what you mean when you say "is my statement true, or is it 
a perception."  I live and dance here. I am a part of the local 
community just as you are in your cities.  I also lived and danced in 
the U.S. before moving here permanently.  The milongas here are much 
different than the U.S.  Here the milongas are social events.  If you 
don't dance you can always enjoy the company of your friends. Many times 
people come to the milongas here and don't dance because they are having 
fun with their friends. Men and women who dance here will always tell 
you that there are many more women here than men in the milongas.

With reference to my comment, I am not talking about your average dancer 
in the milonga.  I am talking about your best dancers.  The ones that 
really know how to dance.  Take 100 dancers.  Of that 100 65 are women 
and 35 are men.  So you have 35 men to dance with 65 women. Of the 65 
women, maybe 15 are excellent dancers.  Of the 35 men maybe 5 are 
excellent.  So there are 5 men for 15 women.  Then there are the rest of 
the dancers.  Those 5 men know they are the best dancers.

Those 5 men don't have to worry about anyone accepting a dance with 
them.  Even if it is a night where there are an even or a close to even 
amount of men to women.  They know all the women want to dance with 
them.  They can dance with whoever they want.  The women do not have 
this luxury.  We cannot ask men to dance.  We can look at them all night 
long and if they do not want to accept our invitation they won´t, 
regardless of who we are or how well we dance.  That man is King, 
regardless of how he looks - he can have cigarette breath, a stomach, 
and be bald.  But if he can dance all that is forgiven inside the milonga.

If those 5 guys don't show up, then what do us 15 women say?  "There is 
no one to dance with."  Those other 30 guys don't count.  If we really 
want to dance, then we dance with other men whose levels are close to 
those 5 guys.  Just like those 5 guys who are the Kings, the men know, 
they hold the power of whether we dance or not.  If we have turned down 
guys repeatedly in the past, then there is no way they will dance with 
us now.  It is like they are saying "Suffer bitch, you ain't gettin no 
dance from me now." 

I do not know one milonga here in Buenos Aires where there are more men 
than women. At one time when I first came to Buenos Aires, there were 
more men.  Now that is no longer true.  There are always more women.  
Especially if there is a football game on.  At times at the end of a 
milonga here there maybe a few more men.  Lots of reasons for that.  (I 
am talking 4 am) There are more professional women than men who dance 
tango.  That means that they have to go to work in the morning.  Many of 
the men are retired. 

You know I find it interesting that men outside of B.A.  are now saying 
how there are more skilled leaders than followers.  I find it rather 
humorous, especially since I have danced with some of them. Is this a 
male tango dancer feminist backlash?