[Tango-L] Help to find masculinity in tango!

Tue Oct 2 14:57:08 EDT 2007

Hi Igor,

Since your original question centered on techniques to help
men understand masculinity in tango, here are a few things
I use.  As a female instructor who is 5'4", I've never been
accused of producing effeminate male dancers.  The one or
two that have had some comment made about that were
undergrads, which I think doesn't count.

The basic idea is to take away the fear of the man to move,
especially the fear of stepping on the woman's feet.   As
Tom pointed out, it's about confidence.

First, in the modern dance studio I use we're only allowed
to use socks or barefoot.  This rule had the unexpected
benefit of taking away a lot of the fear of stepping on the
woman's feet.  If he steps on her, he's not going to hurt
her.  So he moves more confidently.  It's worked out so
well, that we use "barefoot tango" a lot in our other
facilities that allow dance shoes.

Second, in my beginning classes, I always start the couple
walking side-by-side, as if they are taking a romantic walk
through the park.  They are instructed to walk wherever
they want - backwards, forwards, randomly around the room
whatever.  This is a natural way for men to get the idea
that they are "in charge".  We then talk about those
dynamics.  The seeds have been planted.

Third, when the men and the women begin to start dancing
face-to-face, it never fails that the man's fears begins to
surface.  I address that in several ways:
- I remind them about the previous exercise.
- I talk about how the man needs to "invade" the woman's
space.  He needs to get her to vacate the space before he
can enter it.  I use strong words because at this point,
that's what the man needs to hear.
- I give them a visual example by taking the biggest guy in
the room and leading him to walk backwards.  (The sight of
a 5'4", 110 lb Asian woman plowing through someone twice
her size is pretty effective.  Perhaps your female dance
partner can help create this visual.)

Fourth, there are a couple of responsibilities I assign the
man, which I make clear.
- After the usual weight shifting exercises in which the
man is able to sense where the woman's feet are, I always
tell them that they are now in charge of her feet as well.
- Navigation.  Head on top of your own shoulders (no
cuddling), eyes looking about the room, turns occurring
because you need to see what is happening as opposed to
turns simply being a step.

By this time, the seeds have sprouted and are growing. 
There are further exercises that I do as needs arise
throughout the teaching program.  However, I don't talk
about masculinity or feminimity or gender roles because my
job isn't to address their psychology on those issue.  I
don't go into too much touchy-feely stuff either.  What I
am is simply practical.  Cause and effect.  If you want B
to happen, then A must come first.

This approach works well for us, and I have a relatively
good retention rate of men.  I should, however, say that
the market we reach tends to be people who are interested
in dancing, anyway.   I find it a waste of time and
resources to just blanket the general public.  And I'd
rather spend my efforts on interested people rather than on
half-hearted people.

I also agree with Tom about the importance of understanding
musicality.  But I don't push it too much if the guy just
isn't getting it.  Then I change tactics to help the man
feel confident.  

Concerning your ideas about women being feminine, the
description you gave actually sounds to me more like
wanting women to be more "masculine" rather than feminine. 
But I've written long enough.

Trini de Pittsburgh

--- Igor Polk <ipolk at virtuar.com> wrote:

> Thank you very much all those who took time to write good
> answers !
> Now there is a lot of material for thinking !
> 
> While in the middle, since I see that I was very unclear
> in my question,
> I'd like to clarify ( and I am able to do it thanks to
> your answers, thank
> you again ! ) what I feel masculine and feminine power
> is.
> 
> Being masculine means when other men, say friends of a
> dancing men, admire
> the dancing of the dancing man. And all them want to look
> and act like him.
> Probably, it should include confidence, strength, agile
> movements, control
> over the situation, and admiring expression of the face
> of his lady ( an her
> loving embrace).
> 
> Inner Men's power is like that - confidence, ability to
> control the
> situation, providing freedom and security to his lady,
> and may be at the
> same time playfulness, risky, sharp, powerful dancing
> style - just to prove
> his mastery in the first group of his abilities: "See? No
> matter what she
> dances great!" 
> 
> Shortly, ability to make her dance well with him and to
> show his friends
> that it is very easy for him, and at the same time look
> the way men like.
> 
> Woman's power is not surrendness ( even though it is a
> pre-requisite to it,
> as very well described by Krasimir ). It is ability to
> control the situation
> by other means than direct. Ability to influence her man
> in such a way so
> that he leads her what she wants and the way she wants. (
> Surrender to fool
> him that that it is he who in control ;) ) Ability to
> handle the situation
> no matter what and look like a queen always. Ability to
> make him dance well
> with her.
> 
> Admirers of the good women are... men too. They all want
> to rush and invite
> her for dancing.
> 
> 
> Well, I've just made it up, do not judge severely,
> Igor Polk
> 
> 
> 
> 
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