[Tango-L] A man's feminine side: masculinity in tango!

[Keith]

Just so there's no misunderstanding, which seems to be common on Tango-L, I'd like to change a part of para. 4 to ...

And, as with the athlete, whether or not the man shows emotion while dancing is irrelevent. What is important is whether or not he and his 
partner can feel it.

Keith, HK

On Tue Oct  2 13:28 , Keith  sent:

>Michael,
>
>Sorry, but I disagree with almost everything you say.
>
>You say ... The problem seems to be that a man has to be a man. Why is that a problem? 
>
>About the injured football player - yes he's being a man, not a whimpering cissy. As for emotion - every great athlete plays with 
emotion. 
>Whether he shows it or not is irrelevent. But I can assure you that all his team-mates can feel it and are inspired by it. 
>
>You say ... To me, connection and chemistry are always more important than figures. OK, we agree. But you then go on to say ... 
>Masculinity concentrates on figures. I don't agree. To me, making the embrace and the connection is the epitome of masculinity. And, as 
>with the athlete, whether or not the man shows emotion while dancing is irrelevent. What is important is whether or not his partner can 
>feel it. Personally, I dislike it when men display emotion while dancing - why? - because it looks feminine and it often looks phoney. 
But 
>because a man doesn't show emotion doesn't mean he doesn't feel it or that his partner doesn't feel it.
>
>And yes, I also love to feel a woman's heartbeat while dancing - that's Tango, and when you hold a woman that close you're definitely 
>being a man. 
>
>Keith, HK
>
>PS - Michael, if you mention your 3 years of yoga therapy one more time, I swear I'm gonna scream!
>
>
>On Tue Oct  2  9:46 , "Michael"  sent:
>
>>I've read plenty on the above subject and there seems to be complaints about a man being feminine or his feminine side showing. The 
>problem seems to be that a man has to be a man. I guess a man has to dance like he's John Wayne!
>>
>>I paint stereotypes of the genders. A woman is weak because she publicly shows her feelings and a man is strong because he shows no 
>emotion. The epitome of a man is an injured football player who tells the coach "Put me in the game, coach! Only one kidney is injured. I 
>carry an extra in reserve." If a man was to show an emotion, OMG, it would kill him. That's because many confuse weakness with softness. 
>>
>>Thanks to 3 years of yoga therapy, I was able to let go of a lot of personal baggage that held me back from dancing-- and enjoying life. 
>My teacher, Joe, told me "before we can embrace others we have to embrace ourselves." To me, connection and chemistry are always more 
>important than figures. 
>>
>>Based on an informal, random survey of women in Denver and Washington years ago, women want connection and to feel special. 
>The "physical" part, figures, was much less important. Men seem to concentrate inordinately on figures. If they can't execute it, it's a 
>sign of "weak" manhood.
>>
>>I think this is the crux of the point about masculinity in tango. Masculinity concentrates on figures and femininity concentrates on 
>emotions. But for a man to show emotion, he has to feel emotion. If feeling emotion is seen as feminine, well, what man wants to feel 
he's 
>less of man because of his "femininity." I've been lucky to sometimes feel my heartbeat, sometimes the woman's heartbeat. I remember 
>dancing with Natasha in Florida. I dance close embrace. She taught me closer embrace. Figures meant nothing. I didn't want to do anything 
>to break the embrace.
>>
>>I guess there is NO tango in Lake Wobegone, MN 
>>                                                        where all the women are strong
>>                                                        all the men are good looking
>>                                                        all the children are above average
>>
>>My favorite milonguero expression is:
>>                                                                  4 legs
>>                                                                   2 bodies
>>                                                                   1 heart
>>
>>To dance tango is one thing. To feel tango is another. And to EXPERIENCE tango, words just can't describe it. 
>>
>>Michael Ditkoff
>>Washington, DC
>>I'd rather be dancing Argentine Tango
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>
>
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