[Tango-L] Help to find masculinity in Tango !

[dchester@charter.net]

Igor,

While I think that your question is quite clear, the answer is not, thus I suspect this is why some of the answers have not been to your liking.  The only direct answer I can suggest to your question, is to show people videos of tango, where the man does not look feminine.  Then you can say to the people, "See, the man doesn't have to look feminine".  However, for me the bottom line is that many of the good male American tango dancers do look feminine at times.  This only seems to bother American men though, and not the women.

My wife and I have had some conversations on this subject in the past, as well as the broader topic of why it's hard for people (men in particular) to get into, or stay with tango.  In the US (the only place I really know anything about), most of the teachers are female, at least where I live anyways.  While for the most part, they are very good dancers, but some of the things they explain (and some of the exercises), are not in the least bit helpful for me.  At my very first tango class, we focused on (what I would call), some "touchy feely" types of exercises.  Not only did I not get anything at all from them, they actually made me want to leave and never come back.  If it weren't for the fact that my wife and I had signed up together for a series of classes, that first class would have been the end of my tango adventure.  I now understand what they were trying to teach in that first class, but that doesn't change the fact that not only was it was a complete waste of my time, but it actually was pure agony.  BTW, my wife thought the class was just fine.

: )

Another example from my first class, was when I was first told, "lead from the chest, not from the arms".  This might have made some sense to me, if we were in close embrace, but since we were in a practice embrace, (and our chests were not touching, just our arms), of course I had no clue what she was talking about.  This forces me to have to make a guess at what they actually mean, and when you are a beginner, the odds of a correct guess are very low.  Eventually, another instructor explained to me, the concept of "The Frame", and I was able to understand it (you do use your arms, but together with your chest and shoulders).

Over the past few months, I have taken some workshops from Argentine men, and the philosophy from them seems to be different from what I hear from American women instuctors.  In a lot of classes I'll ask questions on how to lead x, y, or z.  The difference seems to be (and this is likely an over simplification), American female teachers say, "the lead is an invitation", meaning (to me) the women is free to accept or decline the invitation.  However, when I've asked Argentine men on various leads where I'm having a problem, I usually hear something along the lines of, "Be the man", or "Do what you have to do, to get her to follow".

: )


FWIW, I went to my first milonga, maybe 4 - 6 weeks after starting the tango.  While I know that I was lousy, people did dance with me, and it made me want to continue.  I usually asked people for feedback, and I received lots of helpful suggestions.  The things that multiple people commented on, were the things that I focused on.  In my opinion, beginners dancing with other beginners, is an extremely slow way of learning the tango.  For me, getting out to milongas every couple of weeks and dancing, along with taking an occasional private lesson to get me past things I am stuck on, seemed to work much better for me.  Of course, my wife and I continue to take weekly group lessons on various topics.  

I think that teachers should find ways to get new dancers (men in particular) to feel like they are making progress, and it is worth their time.  Once someone cathes the "tango bug" they might be willing to put up with very slow progress, but not initially.  Like it or not, that's they way most men (at least in the US) are.  We in the tango community can either complain about it (ie, do nothing), or deal with it and figure out what to do differently, to get a different result.  Another way of stating it is, "If you keep doing what you've been doing, you're going to keep getting what you've got".  

My two cents (even if it was rather long winded).

David


> ------------------------------ 
 
>Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2007 10:33:33 -0700 
>From: "Igor Polk" <ipolk at virtuar.com> 
>Subject: [Tango-L] Help to find masculinity in Tango ! 
>To: <tango-l at mit.edu>  
 
>I was told that many men trying tango drop it because they think "tango is 
too feminine". 
 
>Some of my friends actually think that tango is very masculine, strong. 
 
>I believe these men who dropped could be the best tango dancers and WE NEED 
GOOD MEN IN TANGO ! 
 
>DESPERATELLY !!!! 
 
>Please, help to find ways to uncover masculine part of tango to potential 
great leaders ! 
 
 
>Igor Polk 
>PS I understand there is a theory that tango helps to discover feminine part 
in men and men's part in women. But that is not what I need. I need the 
theory to present musucline attractiveness of tango to men.