[Tango-L] Finding diamonds in the rough

[Janis Kenyon]

I am routinely asked by first-time visitors in Buenos Aires, --how do you
know who are the better dancers? and how to you get to dance with them?

This past Sunday I met three women from Denver, one of whom had been in BsAs
last year.  Since they are foreigners who were attending the milonga for the
first time, they were seated in the back row table between two men.  It
appeared that they were a group of five.  Then they started dancing with the
two men, only one of whom arrived at the milonga with them.  This is a no-no
if you want to dance with others in a milonga.  Foreigners are usually
seated in the back rows where they don't have a good view of the dance floor
to see who dances well and are easy prey for the bad dancers who walk the
aisles to make verbal invitations.

Everyone is watching your every move in a milonga whether you know it or
not.  Once they accepted a tanda with one of the aisle walkers, they were
getting invitations from other walkers.  These men can't dance, so the local
women won't dance with them.  One man approached from behind and tapped a
woman on the shoulder.  I would ignore anyone who came to my table that way,
but newbies in Buenos Aires smile, get up, and walk out to the floor as if
they had no choice in the matter.  They came all the way to Buenos Aires to
dance, and they aren't choosy.

I arrived at the milonga at 7:00 and didn't bother to change my shoes in the
ladies' room until about 8:30 when the milongueros started to arrive.  I
waited to see at least one or two with whom I wanted to dance first.  I
haven't attended this particular Sunday evening milonga for three years, so
I was having to break into the scene once again.  I didn't realize that
several men who know me didn't recognize me with my new hairstyle.  I danced
only four tandas in five hours, but they were memorable.  I danced tandas
for the first time with two men, but I knew they would be wonderful, and
they were.  I hadn't danced with the third man in at least five years.  It
was almost as if I was going for the first time like the three women from
Denver.  My only advantage is that I have seen the men dance before.  I can
spot the diamonds in the rough.

My advice to the women was to arrive early and spend the first hour watching
the dancing.  If they accept invitations from men who come to the table,
they are wasting their time because they won't dance well.  I told them to
watch the women seated in the front row tables.  Generally, they are the
better dances who are more selective.  The men with whom those
women dance are the best dancers.  You aren't going to get dances with the
best dancers or milongueros the first time you show up at a milonga.  That
takes time.  The men have to see you dancing with other good dancers first.
That can be arranged by having a class with a milonguero.  When he dances
with you at a milonga, you get noticed and the invitations from other men
magically happen.  Patience is required.  Arrive early and stay until the
end.  You are more likely to be asked during the last hour of the milonga if
they see you've had the patience to stay that long.

As the dancers started to leave, front tables were available.  I asked the
women to move up to the table next to me so they could watch the dancing and
get away from the two men near them.  This way they had more opportunities
to look around the room and get invitations.  Miracles don't happen in a few
hours.  It takes months to break into the milonga scene and become a good
dancer.