[Tango-L] Mens group practice

[Jeff Gaynor]

Trini y Sean (PATangoS) wrote:

>Hi 'Mash,
>
>In my experience, it's mainly men aged under-30 who are
>willing to try following.  Haven't met many men over the
>age of 40 who are interested in following, and those that
>are do not pursue it seriously.  Without a willingness to
>follow, I'm afraid an exchange among men is of limited use.
>  
>
So where do I get practice at following? The final issue here is that 
for most social dancing this will take people far from their comfort 
zone and so they just have no desire to do it. Sure they will plateau 
with their dancing but as long as it works, why bother? This is the 
single biggest reason really that men don't follow and women don't lead. 
Many people on this list are instructors and *do* sincerely want to 
improve. They forget that the average member of the community has a lot 
less investment of themselves in it and are less motivated.

Well, as you all know I do martial arts. The one big training precept 
their is that you learn a technique best by receiving it as well as 
giving it and I think that applies in spades to dancing. In our 
community I think there are a fair number of men who would like to 
follow (at least in theory), but have contact anxiety being led by 
another man. (Yes it's a guy thing and maybe rather than telling us 
we're silly you should consider that you don't quite understand guys 
after all...) I think that if more women were to get interested in 
leading that might help solve the issue. Not sure if this applies 
outside our area...

> We've tried encouraging it but I get the impression that
>they don't attain much joy in the process - kinda like
>having to eat your veggies when you're a kid.  
>

Men are also uncomfortable following because they have little practice 
with it and are consequently very clumsy. So here you are, a great tango 
dancer in your own right and first time you lead you do everything that 
you've been grousing at beginner's for. That's a dis-incentive for some. 
The sort of awareness you need is very different than when you lead as 
well as the body sense. Contrary to popular lore, following is gosh darn 
hard work. The biggest limiting factor I'm finding in my tango is that 
women don't really think there is that much to following and 
consequently do not try to expand their abilities once they hit their 
comfort zone.

Cheers,

Jeff G