[Tango-L] Women's role

[Jake Spatz (TangoDC.com)]

Hey list,

While I did enjoy reading much of what was in Nina's post, I want to 
address the thread-starter here, because I think it's a case of a 
pendulum "swinging past center"-- or in other words, overcorrection.

Razor Girl wrote:
> I would go so far as to say that most of the time it is really the woman doing the asking with her posture and eye contact and not really the other way around.
>   
Agreed. I sometimes see women sulking or looking stony/bored/whatever, 
and it hardly encourages me to invite them to dance. A foul or 
indifferent mood is not exactly attractive, and when I see it, I keep my 
distance-- that being perhaps the intended result anyway.
> 2. The follower is in control of the dance. [...] Also, the way in which she interprets the lead is her choice, so as a leader you have to be aware of and open to the possibilities she presents.
>   
I've read other statements to this effect recently, and I have to disagree.

If a woman is going to "interpret" my lead with too wide a berth, I 
can't enjoy the dance. Moreover, she's liable to miss half the 
expressive content of that lead, and that's not quite what I consider 
her "agreement" to follow me.

Ultimately, WE dance, if things work. If she starts getting airs about 
freedom, which conflict with cooperation, the dance doesn't work. Her 
only choice (and mine) should be to dance with each other, not despite 
each other. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that the dance isn't about 
freedom at all... rather, it's about liberation from the need (or 
desire) for it.

It's my opinion that to introduce notions of political/civic equality 
(or otherwise) in the embrace-- where they really don't belong-- is to 
miss the whole point of tango.
> 3. The follower has an extremely influential role in the expression of musicality.  Her timing, responsiveness, and the manner in which she executes the movements which are lead are all completely her responsibility.
Yes, but let them not become her irresponsibility.
> Also, the spaces in between what you lead are hers to play with.
>   
Those spaces are in some cases called "cortinas."

A man who can lead (and listen to) his partner with continual attention 
doesn't deserve "interpretive departures" as payment for his care. If 
he's really with her, he'll sense that the dance needs a pause (or what 
have you) at the same time she does, if not before. And if they're both 
following the music's "lead" in the same way, it's rather a moot point.
> The best dances happen when both the leader and follower are striving to make the dance delicious for the other person while confidently expressing their personal uniqueness in a warm and trusting embrace.
Exactly. Except that you (ideally) leave behind your separate self when 
you enter the embrace. Each embrace has its own chemistry, and is its 
own creation: we become something different with every partner, even if 
the differences are slight. If you bring luggage along, with your name 
in big letters on it, the whole thing sinks.

These are perhaps illusions or ideals, but we cannot dance well without 
them.

Jake
DC