[Tango-L] Flaming women at classes

[Keith]

Hi Mash,

Don't listen too much to what people tell you. You've seen the truth with your own 2 eyes and no amount of
rationalisation can change it. You're right - at beginner level, Tango is much easier for women than men because
the man leads. Yes, I can easily lead a woman after an 8-week beginner course and make her look and feel great.
My partner, who's a much better dancer than me, can't do the same thing with the men. You just have to accept
that it's going to take you a lot longer and you're going to have to work a lot harder than the women to reach the
same level. And don't take it personally - it's just the nature of the dance and every guy goes what you're going
through now.

As for couples breaking up - if they're already together when they start to learn, it usually isn't a problem. But
don't get too attached to any girl you meet in the beginner class because no matter how much she might like you,
she'll move on to a better partner in the next class. Pretty girls can always pick and choose from the better
dancers and after you've been learning for a few months, beginner girls will start to seek you out. But still don't
get too attached because they'll quickly overtake you and move on to even better partners. This might happen to
you many times as girls starting even 1-year after you will soon overtake you and move on to even better
partners. But, eventually, things will turn around. Work hard and practice and, eventually, you'll be one of the
best dancers in your community and then you can do the picking and choosing; then you can start to enjoy the
sweet fruit of your labours. At least, that's what I see and am told by my former students. I have no personal
experience because I'm married .... sigh.

 Keith, HK



 On Fri Jul 20 19:43 , ""Mash"  sent:

>I saw the most interesting thing last Friday at class. 
>I was dancing with a woman who had been doing about a month less they I have. We danced together as the average 2 month educated, twice a week dancers would. There was some skill but still a little awkward, unbalanced and missing fluidity at times.
>
>But when the teacher danced with her she looked like she had been dancing for a year. It was the fact that he knew how to lift and shift her weight. It was him guiding her and letting her body follow, to be completely honest she looked like she was hardly doing anything to taxing herself.
>
>I came away with mixed emotions, one being surprised about how much the man does actually control and two, feeling a little ego bruised. They fact that she danced pretty badly with me, but danced incredibly with him was a bit of a shock. I took it very personally.
>
>I wonder though and I don't mean to offend anyone with this. But from seeing this I think that women appear to progress quicker then men because they are lead. I mean you could take a complete novice and get her to do a beautiful ocho just by leading it well. You can't take a complete novice and get him to lead a beautiful ocho.
>
>Also I have heard of couples (relationship) breaking up due to the woman feeling better dancing with a more experienced dancer, even though the two of them had started tango at the same time. I think it was because women feel like they dance well far quicker then men do. I see this in Milongas, women who have only just started dancing (like 2 months) go to milonga without fear. Men on the other hand would not set foot in a milonga in till they felt confident enough. 
>
>'Mash
>
>
>
>
>
>----- Start Original Message -----
>Sent: Thu, 19 Jul 2007 10:27:21 -0700
>From: "Igor Polk" ipolk at virtuar.com>
>To: stermitz at tango.org>
>Subject: [Tango-L] Flaming women at classes
>> What to do? How to discourage women from criticizing? Of course, they
>> progress much faster than men.
>
>_______________________________________________
>Tango-L mailing list
>Tango-L at mit.edu
>http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l