[Tango-L] Flaming women at classes

[Tom Stermitz]

Yeah, I've noticed that the women can be pretty harsh.

As a teacher, I really try to head that off. If I hear it out of the  
corner of my ear, I go over and ask if I can help, or just intervene  
directly. I usually talk to the woman first, which indicates that  
they may have issues to work on as well, and it takes the pressure  
off the guy, so that when I give him something to work on he isn't as  
defensive.

Yes, I don't like the energy of not changing partners. I tolerate it  
in a small class, or when the couples are of vastly different ages.  
But, over time most couples will change. Frankly, the ones who never  
change never actually succeed at tango.

The best is when you get the busy executive and his wife. Maybe the  
marriage counseler said "this time do something SHE wants to do". He  
is dragged kicking and screaming to tango, where he is WAY out of his  
comfort zone.


On Jul 19, 2007, at 11:27 AM, Igor Polk wrote:

> Thank you for the great letter, Tom !
>
> Absolutely, TV shows like "Dancing with the Stars" is an anti  
> commercial for
> most men.
>
> I have a problem now which might be similar.
>
> My women, with whom I regularly dance after the classes started to  
> compare
> me with their husbands ( it happens between couples only, of  
> course ) this
> way: " It is so good to dance with Igor, but you are so clumsy, can  
> not do
> this or that...". And guys feel bad about themselves.
>
> What to do? How to discourage women from criticizing? Of course, they
> progress much faster than men.
> When I dance with them - they really become better, all men are  
> noticing
> that. But that puts them into the distracting position of inflaming
> critique.
>
> I do not know what to do. The difference between level of dancers  
> is usually
> quite large in my classes and many people insist on not changing  
> partners.
> That in some way contributes to the problem.
>
> I'd appreciate advice.
>
> Igor Polk