[Tango-L] Don't blame your follower

[Tango For Her]

I just checked my Bulk email folder and found a
bunch of emails that I missed.  Sorry for the delay
in writing back.
   
I still say, to myself, "Don't blame my follower."
with rare exceptions.  In general, I become a better
dancer by always looking to me to modify the dance. 

If my follower is stiff arming me, then, I drop my
left hand.  I take the crutch away from her.  I find
that, if need be, I can MAKE my follower have much
better technique.  Again, with the stiff arm
example, taking away her crutch, I can then follow
up with giving her only my chest to follow.   She
usually comes around and learns more as did I when I
went through that exercise.  
   
And, again, I did not have to blame my follower. 
I blamed me for giving her that crutch.  
  



 Michael <tangomaniac at cavtel.net> wrote:
  While I understand the reason for this thread's
title, I've never liked it. Blame doesn't lead to
improvement. Holding yourself accountable and
desiring to change is what leads to improvement.
Everybody DOESN'T want to get better and are content
with their dancing level.

The title implies that leaders and followers are
adequate. I went to a NY milonga last night. I had
great difficulty leading women who pushed hard,
outwardly, on their right arm. They pushed me off
the alignment of our bodies and crippled themselves
when executing ochos. You can't step backwards in
one direction if you're pushing hard on the right
arm in the opposite direction. A lot of people
confuse stiffness with firmness. Dancer's frames
should be firm, NOT stiff. A man's stiff frame can't
lead and a woman's stiff frame RESISTS the lead
which is why I bristle when a woman says "give me
resistance." To paraphrase Daniel Trenner, "when
your partner tells you to push on the hand,
(s)he is telling you how bad a dancer the person
is."

I had two tandas with women with firm frames and we
went around the floor like skaters on ice, with
minimal effort. Then, there were some women who were
so stiff I could barely lead anything. If I couldn't
lead any woman, that would definitely send me a
message. But if I can lead some, but not
others....HMMMM!!! Women should ask the same
question. "If I can follow some men, but not others,
what is the difference in the leaders?" 

It's important to know what each person is
accountable for and what is beyond their control.
Taking the blame for what is beyond your control
will lead to frustration.

Michael
Washington, DC
Spending New Year's Eve at Dance Manhattan in NY
Looking forward to spring and the Atlanta Tango
Festival



      ____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?  
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.  http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping