[Tango-L] Human Consideration

[Trini y Sean (PATangoS)]

That’s a good thing to realize, but don’t be too hard on
yourself, Fan.  Teachers and organizers are responsible to
some degree for managing expectations of new members in the
community.  They do it by what they say and how they treat
people.  Their attitude often gets picked up by their
students who spread it to new students and spread it to
newer students later on, etc.  Sometimes the new students
will feed that back to a different teacher/organizer.    

It could be that your experience goes back to the common
problem of not enough men dancing tango.  Most guys try to
be good about dancing with all of the women, especially the
new ones.  But at some point, they get burned out and
gravitate toward dancing with only certain partners.

Women who don’t make the realization that you do eventually
leave tango.  But I consider it a good thing.  It irks me
when women come to a milonga to dance with a specific
person and then leave right afterwards.  It’s treating
people as objects instead of as people.  Who needs that in
tango?

Trini de Pittsburgh

--- Fantasia Sorenson <bichonheels at gmail.com> wrote:

> I loved Deby's post about human consideration as I do all
> of her posts.
> 
> I would like to comment on one part at the end of her
> post.
> 
> On 4/11/07, Deby Novitz <dnovitz at lavidacondeby.com>
> wrote:
> >
> > I realize when people come here to visit the object is
> to dance as much
> > as you can with the best dancers that will dance with
> you.  You want to
> > dance every tanda at every milonga.  With this
> mentality you easily
> > reject people who do not meet your standard so you can
> find someone who
> > does. Gotta dance, gotta dance.  Here we have another
> idea - we go for
> > quality not quantity.
> 
> 
>  Guilty! I confess it to everyone here and now.
> 
> 1. Saw the movies.
> 2. Bought tickets for the shows.
> 3. Um... bought MORE tickets for the shows.
> 4. Signed up for the classes.
> 5. Um... bought DVDs of the movies I saw already.
> 6. Was sickened by the poverty of my existing wardrobe.
> 7. Maxed my credit cards on new clothes, none of which I
> can wear at work.
> 8. Signed up for privates.
> 9. Showed up for school-sponsored milongas... GOTTA
> DANCE.
> 
> Deby, it isn't only in Buenos Aires that we GOTTA DANCE.
> I showed up to my
> first milongas here with major, I mean MAJOR expections.
> I was overcome with
> dreams and debt. Only one thing mattered now (and I
> borrow this phrase from
> another private correspondent), getting my money's worth.
> 
> Patience? You must be kidding me. I had no patience for
> patience. GOTTA
> DANCE.
> 
> At first that meant simply plying the perimeters of the
> rooms with feral
> intensity. Later, it amounted to an indiscriminate "lock
> and load" on every
> male warmer than a cadaver.
> 
> What was the payoff? Did I get what I wanted? NO! And let
> me tell you, I was
> pretty disappointed and resentful. How can anyone not
> want to dance with me
> when I'm so pretty and my checkbook is bleeding so much
> red ink?
> 
> Sigh...
> 
> Eventually I discerned that each new batch of students
> was reenacting this
> same cycle. Maybe unless you grow up in Argentina, you're
> just going to go
> through it, sort of like molting. Maybe it's just part of
> the process.
> 
> Rude awakening, but I'm a little calmer about it now,
> especially since I've
> just about paid off my credit cards at this point.
> 
> Fan
> _______________________________________________
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> Tango-L at mit.edu
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> 


PATangoS - Pittsburgh Argentine Tango Society 
Our Mission: To make Argentine Tango Pittsburgh's most popular social dance. 
http://patangos.home.comcast.net/ 



       
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