[Tango-L] Walking off the floor

[Deby Novitz]

The first time it happened to me in Buenos Aires I was mortified.  The 
man didn't even bother to say good bye.  He just mumbled something and 
left the floor.  Everyone saw it.  My former partner, the first time he 
danced with me 7 years ago sat me down after 30 seconds of the first 
song of the tanda.  I was so shocked.  At least he was nice.  He thanked 
me and then took me back to my table.  Years later when we were dancing 
together, he would tell me "I don't want you dancing with men who cannot 
dance" or "When they cannot dance, just walk off the floor."  Every time 
I danced with someone he did not deem worthy of me he would remind me 
that I should have walked off the floor. 

My answer to him was no.  If the man is a nice man I won't do it.  Have 
I walked off the floor?  Yes.  But usually when the man does not treat 
me well. By that I mean he is rude.  In the last couple years I think I 
have walked off the floor maybe three times.  Once with a man who 
absolutely could not dance and the others were just plain rude. The rude 
guys to save face usually walk around the room telling the other men 
what an idiot the woman is. This blew up in their faces when they found 
out I was pretty well known and no one was going to accept that I did 
not know how to dance.

 Here in Buenos Aires it was said to me that one must "earn the right" 
to walk off the floor.  If a woman or man continuously walks off the 
floor, no one will want to dance with them.  Big surprise that is.  Yes, 
a well known teacher may elect to do this.  Usually they thank the 
person and walk them back to their table.  I think the key is to be 
gracious. 

Lastly, remind yourself, it is just a dance.  If the person is drunk 
and/or rude, that is one thing.  But if you think they cannot it is 
another.  Last month a man invited me to dance at Lo de Celia's.  He 
could not dance at all.  At first I thought to myself, "what am I 
doing"  It turned out he was visiting from Italy.  It was his first trip 
to BsAs.  He was so excited to be here.  He was so nice, I just could 
not walk off the floor.  We walked around the room for the entire 
tanda.  I know people were looking at me, and later, someone actually 
did ask me what I was doing.  Maybe this was my random act of kindness.  
You know what?  I didn't die, and men still continue to invite me to dance.


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