[Tango-L] Fwd: Flying Dutchman

Sat Apr 7 12:36:37 EDT 2007

Wow, a lot of lead-bashing going on this week.  Sorry guys! :(

I understand the social darwinist urges behind wanting to purge the 
Supreme Master Race of Tango Dancers of those who are less than 
perfectly skilled...but the success of such a project raises a more 
immediate and practical concern: if we don't allow for human frailty and 
mistakes, how are beginners ever going to learn to dance? (let alone, to 
ENJOY it).

As I like to say to my engineer friends contemplating taking these 
vows--"dude, this is way more complicated than a golf swing."  And we've 
copiously and religiously documented the minimum skill set on this list:

--correct posture and personal hygiene
--walking/dancing in rhythm
--learning the figures or steps
--musicality of interpretation
--connection/frame/resistance
--moving the dance around the room in the line of dance
--communicating the lead to the partner
--doing so sufficiently in advance of the move
--navigating through traffic (our recent bitch fest)

While some on this list talk as if they sprang fully-formed in their 
tango perfection from the head of Zeus, I'm sure that the majority of 
readers can humbly recall a time when one or more of the above was sadly 
lacking from their dance.

So first, I'd like to acknowledge all the guys out there who actually 
made it through the lessons, practicas, and negative feedback from 
bitchy women and backleaders--and who actually still enjoy dancing. 
(There's that word "enjoy" again.)

Leading is a zillion times harder than following.  What a luxury, Fan, 
to be able to 'close your eyes'--this means that a leader has learned 
pretty much everything there is to learn, and is able and willing to 
provide you, the follow, with such a secure and protective yet sensual 
environment and experience.  This is a GIFT to you and it comes after 
long and hard investment in learning dance skills.  Let's not denigrate 
that investment, or make it impossible, or unpalatable.

The suggestion that it's the FOLLOWER'S FAULT that there are bad leads, 
because they dance with men who happen to be bad leads?  Oh, please. 
I'm not going to fall into that trap, where I'm supposed to turn someone 
down and every other lead in the room makes a mental note and penalizes 
me forever as a dance rejecter.  I didn't make the sun come up today, 
and it's not my fault there are bad leaders.  Why should I put my social 
capital and dance reputation at risk??  I'm just a paying customer out 
for an evening's enjoyment (there's that "enjoy" word again...yes, I 
insist that dancing be enjoyable, or else!).

While each lead obviously bears the ultimate responsibility for how he 
dances...let's face it, he did get some help in remaining awful.  How 
about looking in the direction of tango instructors and milonga 
organizers?  Unlike the follow, they are actually on the clock, getting 
paid as professionals, when these problems arise and begin to 
fester...and continue to fester.

I'd say that the dance teacher who over-emphasizes patterns and allows 
leads to fritter endlessly in a corner (or worse, the middle of the 
floor) repeating the same intermediate-advanced move is a lot more 
responsible for bad navigation skills than the follow who graciously 
accepts a dance.  (I know, it's easier to take someone's money for a 
bunch of floor patterns than it is to:  a. be brutally honest with a 
paying customer about their shortcomings, thereby risking their status 
as a paying customer; and b. actually teach them some social dancing 
skills, which don't come easily and which they will undoubtedly feel 
inept at, for some time, thereby risking their status as a paying customer).

I also think it's wrong for promoters and milonga organizers to stand by 
and let this kind of bad floorcraft go on.  A promoter fills the 
professional and social roles of HOST.  It is a host's responsibility to 
supervise and coordinate the goings-on at a party--doubly so when they 
are being professionally paid.  If one patron of the milonga is 
endangering other dancers by repeatedly stepping on them, the host must 
take that leader aside and tell him: "you might want to take some 
privates and learn better navigation skills, you're not ready for prime 
time"--or, if necessary--"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave.  You 
keep repeatedly colliding with the other dancers and it's causing safety 
concerns and interfering with other people's ability to enjoy the dance."

CRS

angelaml38 at aol.com wrote:
>  
>  
> -----Original Message-----
> From: angelaml38 at aol.com
> To: Tango-A at MIT.EDU
> Sent: Fri, 6 April 2007 5:34 PM
> Subject: Flying Dutchman
> 
> 
> As we all know tango is a wonderful and challenging social experience for both dance partners. The man, as a leader, is responsible for the navigation; interpreting the music; assessing his partner's dance level in order to choreograph something that would make sense in 3 minutes. For us women as followers, we need to adapt to every man's style; his own interpretation of the music; trust his navigation skills and be responsible for our own technique, as well. On top of all that, we all seek to establish a CONNECTION. 
>  
> Unfortunately, some leaders are NOT ready for the dance floor. Some of the reasons could be their LACK of awareness of space in relation to others; sensitivity to the music or their partners and poor instruction. Good dance instruction should integrate: musicality, walking; space awareness and proper codes of etiquette for invitation and rejection.
>  
> Over the years, I found myself dancing with leaders who were not ready for the dance floor because I was too anxious to dance. I had the erroneous belief that I had to dance with whoever asked me. I would get up and dance with them. It may sound pretentious but it is quite uncomfortable to dance with someone with poor navigation skills; disregards his space; does not listen to the music and insists on practicing the steps that he learned in the previous class with every woman he is dancing with on that night but still does not dance with HIS partner.
>  
> Years ago, one dance partner in B.A. advised me not to dance with anyone who would not make me feel good or safe. He told me that by doing so, I was encouraging poor dancers. He was right. I learned to wait. He told me to watch the leaders and accept the "cabeceo" from the ones I wanted to dance with. 
>  
> WAITING is a difficult thing to do when one is anxious to dance but how does one establish a connection when your partner is dancing by himself? Isn't wonderful to find ONE partner that you can connect with that allows you to close your eyes "entregandote" (surrender) to him and the music?
>  
> Angela Maria
> NYC
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