[Tango-L] Degrees of Separation -- how close is too close in a tango embrace for women

[Janis Kenyon]

I would never have thought that a visit with my tourist friend to see a
rental apartment in downtown Buenos Aires could result in an interesting
discussion about tango with an Argentine woman.  But that's exactly what
occurred last Sunday.  The woman showing the apartment mentioned that she
dances tango, when she realized that we were foreigners.  Alicia was on duty
for three hours that afternoon showing the apartment to prospective tenants,
and we were her first visitors at 4:00.  Rather than discuss the details of
the apartment, we talked about where we go to dance and our preference of
style and partners.

Alicia told me that she doesn't want to be held in a firm embrace, but
prefers to be able to maintain a comfortable degree of separation the man.
This was the first time that I've heard this directly from an Argentine
woman that she doesn't like a secure embrace, and Alicia refuses to dance
with any man who holds her that way.  I didn't ask her age, but she appeared
to be around 50.  We got into demonstrating the embrace with one another.  I
embraced her the way a milonguero would embrace me.  She stepped back and
told me she would never dance tango that close.  She then demonstrated how
she is comfortable dancing with a man--with a slight degree of separation
and her head turned to the right looking down.

Alicia said she tries to keep a low profile when she go to the milongas, and
occasionally teaches foreigners who see her dancing.  She has studied
flamenco and started dancing tango only eight years ago.  I enjoyed our open
and frank discussion.  I dance in milongas where every woman wants
and expects to be firmly embraced by a man.  Alicia is probably one of many
women for whom a tight embrace, chest to chest, cheek to cheek, is too close
for comfort.

Meredith Klein commented that younger dancers (18-40) "get bored if they
have to dance in close embrace all night, doing simple steps."   They will
mature and realize that tango is an embrace.  They will understand it when
they're older.