[Tango-L] Some people would complain if you hung them with a new rope...

[Christopher L. Everett]

Once upon a time, I was at a milonga over in Illinois, where I occasionally
get asked to follow.  I was sitting out, watching a good couple, 
edumacating
myself, when all of a sudden, this hand was thrust in front of my field of
view.  My eyes traveled up the silk clad arm, and it was this guy asking
me to dance.    Being a polite Midwestern type I said yes, a dire mistake.

It was interesting, because at that point I resolved never, ever to do that
to a woman again (stick my hand where she has to see it), because I sort
of felt like a piece of meat.  It wasn't me he wanted to dance with, it 
wasn't
being desperate just to dance with *anyone* he wanted, it was the social
proof of "Look-at-me-I'm-so-serious-about-tango-I'm-dancing-with-a-guy" he
was after.  I've never felt quite that used before.

Dancing with anyone, good or bad, dilletante or fanatic, is not an 
entitlement.
Some nights I'm a good boy, and I dance 2 or 3 songs with every woman
who shows up, right down the line of tables.  Other nights, I just 
can't, and
hide behind my laptop.

IMO, when you stop taking instruction and going to practicas and just show
up for the milongas, you run a risk of ending up  in the  dilletante 
pigeonhole,
and if you still expect to dance all night with the best partners,  I 
might put
you in the poseur category as well.

Christopher

TangoDC.com wrote:
> Dancing with a better partner is certainly a good way to improve. (I 
> don't think anyone is disputing the truth of that.) But so is dancing 
> with a beginner. It's very easy to lead a great partner to dance 
> gracefully, because that person can already dance; but it takes a lot of 
> skill (and no small amount of effort) to lead a beginner through a dance 
> without mistakes, let alone one in which she (the beginning follower) 
> feels not only confident, but graceful, musical, and so forth. Every 
> mediocrity at a milonga can get good moves out of the best chick there; 
> but only a real guapo can get nice ochos out of the worst.
>
> I was once teaching a class on boleos, and one student was working with 
> my teaching partner. She's already done thousands of boleos, so the 
> response in her was ready-- and additionally primed by it being the 
> class subject. You could use the worst arm-pumping technique in the 
> world (rather than just stepping around her) and you'd probably get a 
> boleo out of her-- an ugly one, but she would do it. I broke them apart, 
> and had him practice with me-- and I'm an atrociously bad follower. He 
> could only get a boleo out of me if he used clean technique, because my 
> body won't do one otherwise. Well, he had me doing honest boleos, front 
> and back, with either leg, after a few minutes and a few tips. And there 
> was zero freestyle-swimming in the embrace. And I'm possibly worse than 
> a rank beginner, because I didn't even shave that day.
>
> Now, that's a formal teaching context and not a milonga. But I think the 
> point is clear: If you want to refine your dancing, there's no sense in 
> avoiding beginners.
>
> The same is true for the stud-hungry followers out there, who make 
> themselves an annoyance. True, it's awful to sit and wait. But to sit 
> and wait all night for a particular dancer (or class of dancer) is a 
> stupid move, especially if you didn't plan ahead and bring a good book 
> with you.
>
> Jake Spatz
> Washington, DC
>
>
> Rick Jones wrote:
>   
>> If anyone is trying to improve at anything that is essentially a partner endeavor, interacting with someone who is better than they are is a classic, tried-and-true way to go about it.
>>   
>>     
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