[Tango-L] Mercy Dances

[Deby Novitz]

You know, in my humble opinion the people who constantly have to tell 
you how great they are, how they don't accept mercy dances or give them, 
are usually the ones who need the most help with their dance.  I have 
never heard anyone here in Buenos Aires talk about how great they are, 
whether it be teaching or dancing. 

The truly great dancers (the name brands so to say)I am friendly with 
here in Buenos Aires are humble about their abilities. I have never 
heard one of them say "I turn out the best leaders".  Not once.  I have 
never heard any of them brag about who they are or how great they are.  
It is the ones who are not the best teachers or dancers that feel the 
need to remind everyone.  (You know, those guys who wave their cards in 
front of your face..) If you are truly great, then why do you have to 
constantly remind people?  People will know.

The same for the dancers.  I have never heard any of these people talk 
about how great they are. Funny but the people who talk this way the 
most in Buenos Aires are the foreigners who come here to dance.  (I am 
the best dancer in Podunk)  They don't need to tell us.  All we do is 
watch them on the floor.  That is the best proof. The same with the 
locals who come to dance.

When I was learning to dance salsa a 100 years ago, my teacher once told 
the class, that today's beginner could be tomorrow's star.  You never 
know who is going to surprise you.  She told us that it would never kill 
any of us to dance one dance with someone just starting out.  She told 
us that one kindness is paid with another, but people never forget when 
they are snubbed.

I took that attitude with me to tango.  When I was a beginner there were 
always those really nice guys who would dance 1 song or 1 tanda with 
me.  I remember those guys.  Had they all had the attitude that some of 
you on this list have, I would never have danced.  After dancing salsa 
for almost 10 years, I was shocked at the attitude people in tango had.  
It was like being back in the retail buying offices with the war 
witches.  All the sniping and posturing.  No wonder I ran away to Buenos 
Aires whenever I could.

I remember once about a year ago, a gentleman invited me to dance.  I 
had danced with him once in the past.  After the first song he said to 
me "I danced with you a couple of years ago.  It was a mistake."  He 
continued, "Tonight I invited you to dance and I think you made a 
mistake."  It was a nice way to tell me that I had improved, that if I 
didn't want to dance with him, it was OK.  What do you think I did?  I 
smiled at him and told him "muy amable and continued the tanda."  and I 
am still alive today to tell the story.