[Tango-L] Cabaceo, again

[Tango Mail]

Yet again, let's talk about the eye game.

I was recently out of town, and experienced something that I've experienced before in other cities and in Canada.
People don't know the eye game! 

I am a slightly shy person who is a little insecure about his own dancing, appearance, etc. 
I try to avoid the dreaded "walk" at any costs (When you walk to a woman to ask them to dance and they decline, 
and you have to walk back; usually you'll see most men plop down beside that woman to talk to them as making 
it appear talking was the reason they went over in the first place, to save face). 
As a result I end up only dancing with those who accept my cabaceo or that I know from before. 
I remember few years back when I went to NY and ended up sitting for 3 hours, before someone I knew from
Denver showed up, and then I danced the rest of the night not sitting down.

A little bit back I visited L.A. and went to two milongas; El Adoquin and El Encuentro. I probably would have sat down 
even longer than I did on Friday, had an unescorted woman not sat down at my table (place was crowded despite the
heat and lack of A/C).  But after her, it was still a little difficult to get dances, since I refused to walk across a room to someone. Meanwhile local guys walked up to a woman a whipped them onto the floor not so much as asking if 
they wanted to dance.  I was asked to dance way more often than I got to ask a woman.  
There were many follows there that I kept looking at and trying to catch their eye, but to no avail. 
They either glue their eyes to the floor or when they see you looking toward them, quickly look the other way. 
And I know some of these women would have wanted to dance with me since some of them were the ones asking me, 
by walking up to me to ask.
Saturday was better since I knew Jaimes, the visiting teacher and DJ, and one of the local women from Denver.
So on Sat I was on the floor right after I got my shoes on. But later on it was same problem as Friday. I got asked more
than I did, and again there were a few follows I did not get to dance with that I really wanted to dance with.

What I propose is that community leaders and teachers talk about what cabaceo is. People don't necessarily have
to do it on a regular bases, but that all would know what it means if someone is staring at you and nodding toward
the dance floor; especially if the person doing it is not known to you. This isn't an American dance and when someone
stares at someone it isn't to judge how they're clothed (unless that judged is on the floor, then they're free-range
chicken to be critized and complemented all you want, as is often done, for their shoes, dance style, clothing, 
even hair style. Good O'le gossip). 
Even at home and in Denver I get 90% of my dances using cabaceo. It was someone extremely brilliant and assuredly a shy person who came up with asking for dances using eye contact and I wish more people would use it / understand it. 
Yeah-yeah you can always say get off yer arse and walk up to someone, but the person saying that doesn't 
necessarily have any insecurities and is probably not a shy one.
I remember how little I danced when I was still doing ballroom, and dreaded the walk; I would only ask people from
my own studio (at social dance events), and rarely asked someone across the hall. There, of course, isn't cabaceo in
ballroom; People stand, bow, offer their hand, and ask the woman for a dance, ideally.

I'm not looking for a ton of people telling me I'm lazy and all that good List sh*t. I just wanted to offer my perspective 
on the issue and hoping to promote cabaceo a little more.

Ciao

JK of CS