[Tango-L] Leading and following

[Chris, UK]

>> I am sure every guy on this list has had an invitation
>> changed by a "normal" dancer.  The guy thinks he invited a
>> forward step and she answers it as a back step.  That
>> dynamic is the most common form of "refusing" an invitation
> 
> I have never heard of such a thing happening and this has never happened 
> to me either.

For what it's worth, same here. It's not so much a refusal of a step, but a 
refusal of the dance.

> Using vocabulary such as "invite" or "request" reinforces
> the notion that tango is a dialogue

That notion is responsible for a great deal of misunderstanding amongst 
beginners. Both before and after they become teachers.

The connection is not a dialog.

In dialog, the two take turns sending signals to the other. At any moment, 
one is speaking and the other is listening. There's communication, but no 
coupling.

In the connection, this ping=pong of signals does not exist. At all times 
both are speaking and both are listening - simultaneously and continuously. 
This is what creates the coupling, such that the two feel and move as one.

This connection affords the possibility of what some call a dialog. But 
absolutely not in a way that permits this example of a forward step being 
answered as a back step. That cannot happen within the connection because 
by its very nature it breaks the connection.

And if it cannot happen within the connection, then it cannot happen  
within the dance. This leads me to the same belief as Sergio, albeit by a 
different route: such a "refusal of the lead" can arise only in those 
who've not yet learnt to dance.

Chris