[Tango-L] Refusing the lead

[Deby Novitz]

I cannot imagine doing this.  I just cannot.  It blows my mind to think 
a woman could refuse the lead of a man because she does not want to do 
that step.  The only time I have done it is in a milonga with a man who 
insists on doing show tango moves with me.  I will not do it.  Show 
tango in my opinion  does not belong in a milonga, especially here where 
the floors are crowded.

Every dancer should bring their own style to their dance.  That goes 
without question.  Sense of style is not the same thing as refusing the 
lead.  You can do a backward ocho in many different ways, but you wait 
for the lead to do it.  You do not instead decide to substitute some 
other movement because you do not want to dance a backward ocho.  
Adornments or embellishments are ways the woman can dress up her dance - 
but only if the man gives you the space to do it.  Again, part of the lead.

Tango is a partner dance.  You have to communicate with your partner.  
It is not like salsa where you can decide you do not like how you are 
being led, you pull apart and dance separate.  Maybe I am being blond, 
but I do not get why you would not follow your partner, unless you do 
not know how to follow.