[Tango-L] Women and Lessons

[ATANGO2@aol.com]

Is there anything that anyone would wish to become skilled in that does not 
require lessons?  Especially if whatever "it" is involves being one half of a 
partnership?  Especially if one believes that "partnership" implies equal 
participation, contribution, and creating mutual pleasure for each other?

There is a huge difference between being "guided around the floor" and 
"leading/following."

In the arms of a more experienced leader, a rank beginner can be guided (or 
dragged, as the case may be) through a myriad of steps, figures, combinations 
that she has no understanding of.  (Nor does she need to understand for the 
moment. But the longer she goes without understanding, the longer she will feel 
like a puppet rather than a partner.)

If she dances with skilled partners who do not compromise their skills to 
accommodate, and who might inadvertently make her feel as if she is an "instant" 
tango dancer, she can get the mistaken impression that she is "following"  or 
a "good follower."

If she dances with men who do accommodate and compromise their skills, she 
will likely get used to being over-led with arms and hands and not realize it.  
After dancing repeatedly with "pushme-pullyas" when they dance with a partner 
who leads with his axis, they are at a loss.  

I've seen women stop taking lessons because their early partners told them 
they were doing "great" "fine" "wonderful" and told them to"just dance with lots 
of partners.  You'll catch on."  Giving encouragement is one thing, 
instilling over confidence is another.  Women who have been misdirected into thinking 
that all they have to do is "be there" are missing a wonderful, personal aspect 
of the dance, and the fulfillment of understanding and utilizing the 
foundations and techniques for achieving blissful, skilled social dancing (in either 
close or open frame.)

Following involves skills that enhance and enrich the dance in many ways for 
both partners.  A skilled follower can add her personal touch through 
adornments suggested by the music.  She controls her axis which improves her 
stability, confidence, and ability to feel and respond to information received from her 
leader.  She can move to any direction in  any timing from any position, 
provided it makes sense for her footwork.
She learns to adjust the size and intensity of her steps to match her 
partner's and the music.  (A few "naturals" can pick up on some things, but not the 
subtleties of finesse, or the dynamics of playful, technically correct 
footwork.)

"Advanced" followers do not back lead, anticipate, etc.  They understand 
partnering and contribute to the dance rather than just participate.  They are not 
completely dependent upon the leader for their pleasure and they find their 
own ways of heightening their enjoyment that do not disrupt the leader's 
choreography or their connection with him or the music.

Some men dance with all new women regardless of age or appearance. Cool.  
There are those who do not.  What percentage of new followers in your community 
get danced with most by"helpful" leaders who are 30ish and under, blond, very 
attractive, scantily clad, or any combination thereof?  The longer they remain 
convinced they do not need lessons, the longer they can remain being easily 
pleased by those who continue to offer their "assistance."  (This isn't intended 
to sound negative, just a fact of life.)

Should women take lessons?  Only if they wish to enjoy tango to its fullest 
and become the most skillful and desirable partners they can be.

Polly in Portland
All Things Argentine Tango
http://members.aol.com/atango2/