[Editors] person looking for job

[William T.G. Litant]

Here's my applicant scoring procedure:
1. Read applicant resume; look for possesive use of "it's."
2. Find it, reject.

Bill Litant




Quoting whs at MIT.EDU:

> 
> Thank you very much, Debbie.
> 
> I am reluctant to reveal my management secrets, but in my rigorously
> quantitative applicant scoring system (this is MIT, after all...), your
> "last person" would have achieved the following:
> 
> * Declared Applicant Attribute: reading Golf Digest
> * Score: -2
> * Rationale: balls are too small; dimpling suggests imperfection; grass
> pollen requires Claritan (TM) in the Spring
> 
> * Declared Applicant Attribute: keeping up with the world by reading Men's
> Health magazine
> * Score: variable. 0 if male; -1 if female, +17 if gender undeclared or
> indecipherable from name; -27,469 if response to a classified ad in said
> magazine is discovered in reference checking
> * Rationale: declaring as few facts in CV as possible can only benefit an
> applicant; female reading Men's Health suggests a sense of curiosity
> normally discouraged in an MIT administrator; response to a classified ad
> in any publication (except Tech Talk) is somewhat Hogarthian.
> 
> * Declared Applicant Attribute: drinking 8 glasses of water daily
> * Score: -4.296
> * Rationale: none, really.  The irony, however, is that drinking 9 glasses
> of water and more each day would score an astonishing 26, and guarantee
> employment.  In fact, drinking 9 glasses of water and more each day,
> combined with documentable ventriloquism (through video, the testimony of a
> notary public or member of an Institute ad hoc committee), scores a perfect
> 101 in the Bill Smith hiring algorithm.
> 
> And, a perfect 101 means, "Buddy [or buddie], you have my job.
> Congratulations: you start Monday. Here's your RLE mug."
> 
> Unfortunately, the aggregate score, in the specific case of your "last
> person," is -6.296, which maps to "referral to another MIT unit, or
> Harvard."
> 
> I hope that these are some useful, a-Summer-Friday-in-Cambridge, tidbits.
> 
> 
> 
> Regards,
> Bill
> 
> 
> 
> William Smith
> Assistant Director for Finance and Sponsor Relations
> Research Laboratory of Electronics (RLE)
> Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)
> 
> whs at mit.edu <mailto:whs at mit.edu>
> http://www.rle.mit.edu
> 
> 617.253.5621 - Tel
> 617.253.1301 - Fax
> 
> Room 36-433
> 77 Massachusetts Avenue
> Cambridge, MA  02139-4307
> 
> 
> 
> 
>                                                                              
>                                                       
>                       Debbie Levey                                           
>                                                       
>                       <levey at MIT.EDU>          To:       editors at MIT.EDU     
>                                                       
>                       Sent by:                 cc:                           
>                                                       
>                       editors-bounces at M        Subject:  [Editors] person
> looking for job                                           
>                       IT.EDU                                                 
>                                                       
>                                                                              
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>                                                       
>                       07/16/2004 01:55                                       
>                                                       
>                       PM                                                     
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> 
> 
> 
> 
>  Another person has gotten my name from the BU alumni office
> referral bureau to ask about positions at MIT. I do not know her, but
> at least she didn't include anything abnormal in her resume like the
> last person, who wanted everyone to know that he drank 8 glasses of
> water a day and kept up with the world by reading Golf Digest and
> Men's Health magazines.
> 
> Debbie
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> 
> 
> 
> 
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