[Editors] person looking for job

[whs@MIT.EDU]

Thank you very much, Debbie.

I am reluctant to reveal my management secrets, but in my rigorously
quantitative applicant scoring system (this is MIT, after all...), your
"last person" would have achieved the following:

* Declared Applicant Attribute: reading Golf Digest
* Score: -2
* Rationale: balls are too small; dimpling suggests imperfection; grass
pollen requires Claritan (TM) in the Spring

* Declared Applicant Attribute: keeping up with the world by reading Men's
Health magazine
* Score: variable. 0 if male; -1 if female, +17 if gender undeclared or
indecipherable from name; -27,469 if response to a classified ad in said
magazine is discovered in reference checking
* Rationale: declaring as few facts in CV as possible can only benefit an
applicant; female reading Men's Health suggests a sense of curiosity
normally discouraged in an MIT administrator; response to a classified ad
in any publication (except Tech Talk) is somewhat Hogarthian.

* Declared Applicant Attribute: drinking 8 glasses of water daily
* Score: -4.296
* Rationale: none, really.  The irony, however, is that drinking 9 glasses
of water and more each day would score an astonishing 26, and guarantee
employment.  In fact, drinking 9 glasses of water and more each day,
combined with documentable ventriloquism (through video, the testimony of a
notary public or member of an Institute ad hoc committee), scores a perfect
101 in the Bill Smith hiring algorithm.

And, a perfect 101 means, "Buddy [or buddie], you have my job.
Congratulations: you start Monday. Here's your RLE mug."

Unfortunately, the aggregate score, in the specific case of your "last
person," is -6.296, which maps to "referral to another MIT unit, or
Harvard."

I hope that these are some useful, a-Summer-Friday-in-Cambridge, tidbits.



Regards,
Bill



William Smith
Assistant Director for Finance and Sponsor Relations
Research Laboratory of Electronics (RLE)
Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT)

whs at mit.edu <mailto:whs at mit.edu>
http://www.rle.mit.edu

617.253.5621 - Tel
617.253.1301 - Fax

Room 36-433
77 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, MA  02139-4307




                                                                                                                                    
                      Debbie Levey                                                                                                  
                      <levey at MIT.EDU>          To:       editors at MIT.EDU                                                            
                      Sent by:                 cc:                                                                                  
                      editors-bounces at M        Subject:  [Editors] person looking for job                                           
                      IT.EDU                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                    
                      07/16/2004 01:55                                                                                              
                      PM                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                    




 Another person has gotten my name from the BU alumni office
referral bureau to ask about positions at MIT. I do not know her, but
at least she didn't include anything abnormal in her resume like the
last person, who wanted everyone to know that he drank 8 glasses of
water a day and kept up with the world by reading Golf Digest and
Men's Health magazines.

Debbie
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