[Tango-L] Buenos Aires Milonga traditions outside Buenos Aires (WAS chacarera skirts)

[Shahrukh Merchant]

In response to my post about Buenos Aires Milonga traditions used 
outside Buenos Aires, someone wrote to me privately about the Buenos 
Aires custom of talking through the first 30 seconds or so after the end 
of a Tango, before starting to dance the next one.

I've paraphrased and edited his email to preserve anonymity of names and 
places ...

In his community, he says, the "local Tango cartel" bullies the rank and 
file into talking with ones partner during the start of each Tango, a 
practice which the writer dismisses as an archaic custom leftover from a 
bygone era of "dueños and chaperones." His local self-proclaimed Tango 
Gods who favour this practice, he continues, "have been known to hold up 
the line of dance for 6-8 bars of music while everyone else tries to 
navigate around them," and all it really is, is part of the marketing of 
their classes "to be 'Oh so BA!'" ...

Well, certainly I have been guilty of the same behaviour myself, and 
since I'm not trying to sell classes or any Tango product or service for 
that matter, perhaps I can share why I like the custom, even when 
dancing outside Buenos Aires. It IS in fact standard practice in Buenos 
Aires to chat with your partner or, if not chatting, just to hang out 
non-verbally without dancing, for about 20-30 seconds into the start of 
each piece that you dance (other than the first), but that is very much 
a rarity outside Buenos Aires.

Here is why I like it:

1. It is in fact much more social--a total of 1 minute of small talk 
during a tanda actually adds up to a lot of pleasantry. None of the 
alternative are that appealing:
- Verbally ignore her during the entire tanda;
- Talk while dancing;
- Accost her while she is seated (absence of chaperone notwithstanding) 
in order to chat.

2. It puts me in the mood for the song, listening to the music and 
getting into the music before actually starting to dance to it.

3. When I am dancing with a stranger, it eases the natural tension or 
sub-conscious anxiety one or the other (or both) may feel with an 
unfamiliar partner. Invariably, in such cases, my second and subsequent 
dance with that person (after 20 seconds of chatting) is way more 
comfortable and pleasant than the first.

4. It mutually acknowledges the presence of the other as a real human 
being (conversation being the socially accepted form of such 
acknowledgement), rather than as a "dance object."

5. If everyone else is doing this, and it's a crowded dance floor (both 
of which are true in Buenos Aires), it's pretty disruptive, not to 
mention not very effective, trying to start immediately.

Item 5, of course, has a flip side: "That's my point exactly--if you're 
NOT in Buenos Aires, and NO ONE else is doing it but you are, then 
YOU'RE the one being disruptive!"

Point well taken, but it doesn't change the fact that points 1-4 are 
valid anywhere. When I'm not in Buenos Aires, I wait and chat between 
songs automatically, not to prove anything to anyone, nor to be a jerk, 
nor to be "Oh so BA." If, in fact, I notice that I'm holding up traffic 
(which would only be in a pretty crowded milonga outside Buenos Aires), 
I will in fact start sooner, or if necessary try to discipline myself to 
forsake the custom entirely.

So, to play devil's advocate, here are a list of reasons I have heard 
for NOT waiting between songs, and starting as close as possible to the 
first note.

1. 30 seconds spent not dancing is 30 seconds wasted--a whole 20% of the 
Tango!

2. I came to DANCE to the music, not to chat, nor to listen to the music 
(I can do that while I dance anyway).

3. I see and talk to these people all the time--I have nothing new to 
say to them anyway, and I feel stupid just standing there saying nothing.

4. It holds up traffic if no one else is doing it.

Of these, the last is really the only one that would trump all the 
reasons for waiting ... IF indeed you are dancing where no one or almost 
no one waits AND it's a crowded floor. In this case, while you can teach 
what you like in your class, or preach what you like on Tango-L, a 
milonga is a group social event and the responsibility for not 
interfering in the pleasure of other participants takes precedence.

Shahrukh