[Tango-L] Men's strategies (1)

[Steve Littler]

In addition to other recommendations already made, this is what I did 
when I visited B.A. for the first time in August 2010:

People knew I was a stranger because I sat with a well known foreigner 
and her taxi dancer. But frequently some well known Porteños would sit 
at our table.

Sometimes I went to the bathroom (baños) to change my shoes. (Careful 
not to step in water haha.)

In the beginning as a first time foreigner I might dance once at the 
beginning of the night with my foreigner friend to just be seen. But 
that wasn't nearly enough. I had to actively cabeceo.

After a tanda starts, you can't see across the floor so you have to look 
sideways or back. If you are on a back row you have to look forward to 
the front row. If I got no response or could see no eyes, I would go for 
a walk to the restroom and cabeceo while walking on the way back. Walk 
casually and confidently, pause watch the dancers for a second, glance 
around, look at a lady from a comfortable distance, like 15 or more 
feet, not up too close to be uncomfortably in her space.

Then after being there a few days, I didn't bother to dance with my 
friend to get me started. After getting my seat, I would order aqua con 
gas (fizzy water) and empanadas from the waiter. (Seems I was always 
hungry and thirsty from so much walking and dancing.) Go to the restroom 
to change shoes. On the way back I might walk confidently around the 
entire room on a preliminary scout mission looking at the ladies just to 
see who was there and who looked interesting, were they sitting with a 
big group, or sitting with a spouse or partner, getting a feel for who 
was available and who was also scanning the room. If a woman doesn't see 
well or have her glasses on, she won't notice you from a long distance 
unless you already made an impression on her. Sometime later I might 
make a second stroll and to get within striking distance for a cabeceo. 
Cabeceo all the way across a large floor is hard because the signal is 
either not seen or gets intercepted and 5 men may think it is their 
dance. Smaller dance floors are easier to get the correct signal. Later 
in the evening it is sometimes easier when it is less crowded.

As a foreigner, knowing no one, typically I would just dance with the 
first lady to accept the cabeceo. A certain percentage of ladies are 
just happy to dance and not too particular who they dance with. I danced 
with 85 different women in 11 nights. About half were Porteñas and half 
were tourists. Several were terrible dancers and hurt my back even 
though there were older presumably experienced dancers. But most were 
comfortable to dance with and some were effortless joy to dance with.

To be continued...

El Stevito de Gainesville