[Tango-L] How to reduce stratification in tango community - Dance-with-a-stranger-rule

[Eero Olli]

On 4 Feb 2011 at 12:29, tango-l-request at mit.edu wrote:

Dear list members,

Several posters have pointed out how elitism and cliques are a experienced as a 
problem for most dancers in the community, but not by those on the top of the social 
ladder.  My observation confirms this.  However, when you are on top of the ladder, 
you probably do not see the closedness. Looking from the top of the ladder it looks 
perhaps more like this: 
"If there are ten people I really would like to dance with during one evening, I most 
often will fail to dance with several of them.  Over years I have become good friends 
with these people. I come to milonga to meet my friends and to dance with them."

The effect of this attitude is that a clique will form.  There is no requirement of 
elitism or a bad attitude. Cliques are common phenomena in all highly stratified 
social settings.

In the meanwhile, there is likely to be many people outside the clique hoping for a 
dance with this person and never succeeding.

There is however something that can be done with cliques.  My suggestion for 
intervention is to introduce a-dance-with-a-stranger-rule in a community (become the 
friendly community), in a milonga (become the friendly milonga), or just among your 
friends (become the friendly clique). Simply to make it socially expected that every 
evening everyone does one tanda with someone they do not dance with regularly. 

The main argument is that it is the friendly (or polite) thing to do, and friendliness is 
really good for the community.

Do not say or require anything about levels or dancing skills.  It does not really 
matter if people open their own cliques sideways, downward, or upwards.  If you 
keep doing this evening after evening, you end up dancing with everyoneJ.  
If you have a tango community of 200 people, for those who dance once week it 
takes four years to get through everyone. 

Positive consequences:
* People like friendliness. More friendliness means more people. More people mean 
more money for the organizers.
* Visitors love it.
* You meet new people.
* Every evening there will be one dance that will be a surprice.
* You get to practice you ability to adapt to new people and their dancing style in a 
low pressure setting.  In stead of waiting for the most-important-dance-ever with a 
stranger, to find out that your ability to adapt is not what it should be.
* The attention spreads more evenly. Those people not on the top of the ladder, have 
200 dancers they need to dance with, not just the 10 they really, really, would like to 
dance with. This increases interaction further down in the pyramid, and takes some of 
the pressure away from the top.
* There is a commonly accepted limit for politenes. When you have done this one 
tanda, you can dance with your friends, without feeling bad about those who do not 
get to dance with you. 
* Paraphrasing Charles, You will "spread good tango karma; give back something to 
this dance that has enriched your life".  
* People who are shy or struggle with low self-esteem, are pushed towards asking 
others, and actually end up dancing with new people.
* Dancers who are not flashy, but give great experience for their partner, will end up 
higher up on the ladder, because now everyone knows how it feels like.
* People talk more with each other, despite of not being part of the same clique, 
because the impression of elitism or rejection changes.

Negative consequences:
* You might get one less tanda with your regular dance partners, if you would dance 
every single tanda.  (For most of us, it does not really apply.  Spend the time while 
you are waiting for someone to do one tanda. Or use this dance as a warm-up.) 
* Some people get upset because they do not get asked again at the next milonga. 
Sometimes people think that they did got a invitation into the clique, while they 
actually got a dance-with-a-stranger.  At the next milonga they are not a stranger 
anymore, and will not get a dance with the same person.  This is unavoidable, but by 
far compensated by the positive effects.  It is possible to create openness and increase 
movement within the stratifications, but you cannot make people stop being friends. 
Or in my own words, I am willing to do one tanda with anyone, but I am not willing 
to sacrifice dancing with my friends.

Friendly dancing to you all!

Eero