[Tango-L] Dancing together

[Mario]

Personally, I find Sean's comments very illuminating...I've had similar 
experiences with both beginning and advanced women dancers.
That is; a very smooth and enjoyable dance without ever feeling 'stuck' (my 
description also of fluency in second languages)..If I'm mis-interpreting
or adding something different please tell me..but, these 'special' dances always 
leave me mystified as to what was it that happened and made it so good?
On reading Sean's description, it rang a bell...that feeling of having danced 
together...I would love to hear more description around this concept.
It's probably happening to everyone on occasion and being simply a pleasant 
suprise. What I would love to know is; how does one incorporate this concept
into their dance (and practise) intentionally or at least prepare the ground in 
a way that will give these seeds a good chance to grow??

xxxxx

....Sean replies: I normally don't attempt to lead the woman. I dance, and I 
trust her to dance with me. Of course there are exceptions, such as if the woman 
is very insensitive, contrary, or just passive. Ironically, many women tell me 
that I am easier to follow than any of the other men, even some who are arguably 
better dancers. And it works as well with beginners as it does with very 
experienced dancers. Generally, I only have problems / frustration dancing with 
intermediate women who believe they need to be lead.

I would like to propose the idea that there are more possibilities for two 
people to dance together than just lead and follow. It's my opinion that a 
lead-follow relationship is in fact the least satisfying of the possibilities 
that I have experienced. I'm not a fan of Michael's interleading either; it just 
sounds like double the trouble.

Traditionally, it is the man's responsibility to choreograph the dance. But as 
far as I can tell, there is no need to lead the choreography. If I dance it, I 
have found that women will dance it with me. I would say that that is her 
responsibility, certainly not a passive role. (There must be other methods of 
communicating choreography besides lead-follow?) 


Jack: "Yes, the lady can make great contributions with what happens between the 
steps and can, occasionally, if the man is sensitive, even influence the man's 
next lead"

Sean: It's my opinion that it is the woman's responsibility to make great 
contributions and influence the dance. There are limits to my charity and 
generosity. I want synergy. 


Last thought: If I dance, and she dances with me, then it follows (no pun 
intended) that she dances, and I dance with her as well. 


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Credit Due: I wish I could remember which maestro first said "I dance, and she 
dances with me.", but I was too inexperienced to appreciate it, and I lost the 
origins in the jumble of 100s of workshop memories.

Many of these ideas grew from seeds planted by two different Daniels from 
opposite ends of the tango sphere.

Those seeds were nurtured by women who dance, rather than those who merely 
follow.


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