[Tango-L] Playing the cabeceo card: A different perspective

[Michael]

The original message that started this interesting discussion mentioned that women should give the card to men. Sociologically, I don't think this will work. IMHO, American men are taught to be assertive (some are taught to be aggressive) and "go get what you want." You want to date an attractive woman, go talk to her. My female ballroom dance teacher told me that American women (of my generation) are taught the complete opposite. Don't be aggressive nor assertive. You just wait and wait until the man asks you to dance. Showing interest in a man is poor character. I see the results of this training where I dance ballroom, Latin, and AT. Women don't make any overt sign they want to dance with a particular man. Expecting a woman to give a man the cabeceo card when she won't use cabeceo doesn't make any sense to me.

  It makes more sense when a woman tells a man "That was wonderful. Ask me again some time," THAT'S the best time to play the card and for the man to say "It takes two to tango. I'll be looking for you but I need you to look for me." Expecting the man to use cabeceo when the woman isn't paying attention isn't fair to the man. If the man is "out of position" to ask and the woman practices "first come, first to dance; what chance does he have? NONE!! He's going to get upset that he lost out on tandas because he didn't ask available women because he was looking for somebody. By the time he realizes he isn't going to dance with the special women, the available women - - may not be available anymore.


  Michael
  Washington, DC
  Going to NY Wednesday to dance. It's wonderful to be retired!